The Ostrich
by scrubso
Summary: Takes place where the movie left off. The family encounters trouble near the Swiss boarder...
1. Perhaps

**Author Note**: The story takes place just as the movie ends. I do not own the Sound of Music or any of its character. Enjoy, and please review, this is my first Sound of Music fanfic so criticisms and recommendations are welcome.

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**The Ostrich**

Chapter 1: Perhaps

Steadily they walked, further and further up the mountain, Georg von Trapp carried Gretel on his back and led the way, followed by the whole family, _the whole family_. He repeated that in his mind over and over again.

They were together and that was all that mattered, right?

Georg turned to look back at his family; they looked tired, and hungry. It broke his heart to see their weary faces, but even worse, was seeing the trust they still held for him in their eyes. Perhaps he was mistaken, maybe he should have taken his post at Bremerhaven, at least they would not have suffered a terrible trip across the Alps.

At first he thought that he planned their escape well, but he now realized how he had left too much up to chance, and as an experienced sea captain he should have known; never leave anything up to chance.

Trying to ignore his fatigue Georg thought to his last day at home.

Georg walked into his study with the telegram from Berlin clutched in his hand. He and Maria had just arrived from Paris by train and spent the last hour driving through his beloved Salzburg and witnessing the effects of the Anschluss. When they drove up to the house and saw the flag of the Third Reich hanging over the door of their home, a raged to engulf him like no other. Only Maria's delicate hand on his arm broke him out of his trance as looked down and noticed how white his knuckles were as he gripped the steering wheel.

As he walked into his study, Georg began to feel calmer. It was a charming room to say the least and in a way it was his haven. Three out of the four walls were of mahogany – bookcases which ran from the floor to the ceiling filled with an assortment of books; books on war tactics, famous literature, philosophy, biographies, fiction books.

The fourth wall consisted of bay windows, behind a very sturdy yet handsome desk. How many days and nights did he spend sitting at it brooding over Agatha's death? The truth was before Maria entered his life he rarely left the sanctuary of his study.

He sat down and opened the telegram, and quickly scanned its contents. He swore out loud, and heard his heart pounding in his ears. He knew it would happen eventually, during their honeymoon, he and Maria planned for the possibility that he would be asked to join the German naval forces.

But so soon?

He quickly rose from his desk and crossed the room. As his hand touched the door knob he took a deep breath to calm himself. Now was not a time to get frenzied he must be calm and take careful steps to ensure his families safety. War was imminent, he knew war and he would not let his family suffer through one, he would not fail them.

"To join them would be unthinkable, and refusing would be fatal for all of us" he put his arm around his new wife, and held her tight "we have to leave Austria and this house tonight"

They stood close to each other for a few moments until Maria broke the silence. "Georg we'll be alright"

"I know" he replied, as he kissed her tenderly "with you I always am," he added.

How cruel it was that they just came home from their honeymoon, and would not even stay a full day at their villa "Welcome home baroness" he murmured, as he took in the irony of it all.

* * *

Georg was in his study making the final arrangements. A month ago he wired a significant amount of his money to Paris with not only his honeymoon in mind. A lot of his wealth was scattered in different Swiss banks, some under aliases, in addition to a small house in Berne he purchased with Max's help. And of course there was always cash.

A heard a knock at his door which interrupted him from his thoughts.

Earlier Georg exchanged all the necessary information with Maria, however with such a large family it would be prudent to have others knowledgeable in the plan, just in case they were separated. As much as a part of him still wanted to believe that Liesl and Friedrich were children, deep down he knew that they are not really any more. Liesl was practically a woman, and while Friedrich was not a man quite yet-it was time his goofy, mischievous son took on the role of one.

"Come in" he called.

Liesl and Friedrich entered the study curious as to why they alone were summoned to their father's study.

He motioned them to sit in front of his desk

"I have something important to tell you, now listen carefully"

He explained to them the contents of the telegram he received earlier and went over the plans of their escape with them. Georg would carry his own passport, while Maria would carry hers and Gretl's. Liesl will take hers, Louisa's, and Kurt's, while Friedrich will look after his, Brigitta's, and Marta's. He gave each a large wad of cash and the account names and passwords to two Swiss bank accounts, an address of a safe house in Switzerland, and a name of friend who could help them.

Everything was committed to memory and they reviewed all the details till Georg was satisfied.

"Okay, any questions?" Georg asked looking at their nervous faces.

They shook their heads 'no'.

"Good, Liesl help your Mother get the others ready, Friedrich I want another word with you." Liesl rose to leave, but not before her farther gripped her hand and gave it a squeeze and a reassuring smile-something he would not have done months ago. She smiled back and left the room.

His oldest son remained seated and looked expectantly at his father. Georg opened the bottom drawer of desk and pulled out an old army knife.

"This was mine when I was in the navy; it's a little battered but still is useful I'd like you to have it."

"Th... thank you sir," Friedrich stammered, as Georg handed him the knife.

They both rose from the desk and Georg placed his hands on Friedrich's shoulders and looked his son straight in the eyes. "If something happens to me, you are to take care of the family, can I count on you?" although Friedrich's eyes betrayed his fears he nodded and stood even taller.

"Good" Georg said satisfied "you're a man now Friedrich."

* * *

They continued walking till nightfall. In stark contrast to the sunny weather they had during the day, the mountains were now enveloped in a thick fog making it nearly impossible to see two steps ahead of themselves. And although they were close to the Swiss border, they had to stop walking. To proceed any further would be dangerous.

When they came to a clearing, Georg stopped and set Gretl down. He then motioned the rest of the family to join them and they happily flopped down on the grass. Maria began to hand out the berries they gathered earlier for the children to eat. She watched from the corner of her eye as Georg scanned the area.

She marveled at the sight of him. Last night she had been so frightened, when Zeller had found them, when they fled the festival, when they hid in the abbey…and when Rolf pointed his gun at Georg, Maria felt chilled to the bone. And all the while Georg remained so calm and poised, taking care of everyone's needs before his own, carrying Gretl and Marta most of the way and the night before he did not sleep, but insisted that she rest while he watched over the children. As much as she wanted to argue she really was tired, so last night she slept.

Tonight she decided that she would stay up, while he and the children slept. So after she helped the children settle down to sleep she joined Georg as he sat against a tree. He extended his hand to her which she took and pulled her down to join him on the ground. His lips soon found hers in a short but passionate kiss.

For awhile they sat close to each other with their hands intertwined as they gazed at their children who were either sleeping or soon to be. Despite all the hardships they faced since their honeymoon, Maria relished the feeling of being close and held by her husband.

It was hard to imagine that forty-eight hours go they were in Paris.

"You should get some rest, darling," Georg finally said.

"And what about you Georg?" she replied. "You haven't slept since Paris."

"When you and the children are safe then it will be my time to rest."

"Georg" she started to argue but she was silenced with a kiss.

"Maria you're exhausted, and you need to sleep, can't have you getting hurt, I insist you rest"

Maria saw the concern he had for her, and it made her heart melt. She knew that Georg has made up his mind and that arguing would be futile, so she settled down in his arms. He held her tight as he stroked her face softly.

As much as the concept of sleep was tempted him, Georg knew he had to be the one to stay awake; after all it was his fault that they were in this mess.

For the next few hours he watched the family sleep. Glancing at Maria, he was thankful that she had fallen asleep. Georg was worried about his new wife, the trip across the Alps had been hard on her, and as much as she tried to hide it she really was tired. In fact she had been very tired of late.

Suddenly the voices of men broke his reverie.

Georg trained his eyes and ear to find what loomed just beyond the shadows; he quietly roused Maria and with his finger motioned her to remain quiet. But the silence was soon broken by barking dogs and bright lights.

Someone found them.

The von Trapp family was now wide awake huddled behind Georg as they fearfully stared at three soldiers.

Georg spoke first "Thank g-d you found us, we were took a hiking trip up the mountains and got lost" he said in hope to savvy his way out of the precarious situation they found themselves in.

"Who are you?" demanded a tall burly soldier who by the decorations on his uniform, Georg concluded was a lieutenant.

"I just told you we just went on a hike and got lost-

"Are you sure you weren't trying to go over the boarder?"

"I just told you, we just got lost" while he said this, Georg sneaked Rolf's gun into Friedrich's hands, who stood directly behind him.

Friedrich felt the cool metal on his palm, and felt terror fill him as he held the gun that almost took his father's life. He struggled to remain calm as he hid the gun in his coat.

"Stop this nonsense, who are you!" the lieutenant snarled as he took out his gun and pointed straight at Georg's chest. He then roughly pulled Georg forward, separating him from the family. The lieutenant motioned to the two other soldiers and commanded them to pat Georg down to make sure he was not concealing any weapons. When they were done they pointed their guns at the children and Maria, while the lieutenant kept his gun trained at Georg-point blank.

"You seem to be tight lipped so let me help you loosen it! You tell me who you are and what you're doing here so close to the Swiss boarder and I won't kill your family."

The cruel ultimatum was set, and Georg could see no way out.

"Well, who are you?!"

Before Georg could reply Maria's eyes locked with his, and the look in his scared her more than anything they went through last few days. She shook her head, and with her eyes she implored him not to do what she knew he was about to.

Georg held her gaze, and drank the beauty in her eyes, for he knew it may be the last time he would ever see them. He swallowed hard and forced himself to break their contact, for looking at Maria any longer he would not have the strength to do what he must.

He looked back once more at his children he knew what he had to do. He hoped it would not have come to this, but if it meant their safety over his, he would choose theirs in a heartbeat. He made up his choice, he was defeated, the game was up.

With a firm and steady voice he replied "Georg von Trapp"


	2. Descent

**Descent **

He did not hear. He did not hear Maria's gasp, he did not hear Kurt shout his name, or Brigitta's shriek. Georg von Trapp did not hear a thing, but a loud crack, as the butt of the lieutenant's gun came in contact with the back of his head.

His body fell gracefully, horribly yet gracefully. The force of the blow caused him to buckle at the knees and for a moment he looked as if he were kneeling in prayer, but only for a moment as his body fell forward with a final thud. He lay face down, motionless.

Some of the more hotheaded members of the family tried to dart towards there fallen Father, but those with cooler heads wisely held them back, all while the rest stood in shocked silence.

Except for Friedrich. With a shaky hand he took out his hidden gun and pointed it at the lieutenant. With as much courage he could muster he said, "Let him go"

The lieutenant looked at the gun wielding boy and with measured steps walked over to him. It was obvious to him that Friedrich never held a gun, let alone shot one. The lieutenant came close enough to Friedrich to pry Rolf's gun out of his hand–in the same manner Georg had at the abbey.

With a sneer he threw the gun into the bushes. He then turned back to Friedrich and demanded, "What's your name boy!"

"Friedrich" he replied.

"Well Friedrich that was brave of you and stupid, what would stop me right not for shooting you? Can you guess? Is it mercy-no, compassion-no. You see it's important to follow orders, if you do you don't get into trouble. See your father there," he pointed to Georg's motionless body "he should have taken his commission as he was ordered to, but he didn't. And I will not kill you because I was not ordered to, simple as that."

The lieutenant turned to walk back to his men, not before he spun around and punched Friedrich in the face. Friedrich tumbled backwards; the pain from the hit had momentarily blinded and caused him to miss the bemused looks on the soldiers' faces.

With a smirk, the lieutenant commanded one of the soldiers to pick up Georg.

The soldier approached Georg and raised his limp body the way soldiers were trained to carry wounded brethren- over the shoulder. But he was no brother, he was a traitor and to the soldiers he was an enemy.

"What of the family" the second soldier queried.

"Leave them, it's the Captain we want" and with that he made his way out of the clearing with the two soldiers who carried Georg close behind.

The von Trapp family stood there watching as the soldier retreated with their Father.

* * *

Gretl immediately asked Maria question after question as the only an innocent child could.

"Where are they taking father? Why did that cross man hit Father? Mother why are your cheeks all wet?"

Gretl's questions forced to Maria to tear her eyes away from the spot where Georg was struck. She saw Gretl's tears and the stricken faces of her children, Friedrich eye already swelling. But she could not find and the words to say. She could hardly breathe let alone speak, so she just took Gretel in her arms. Louisa soon knelt by Gretel and Maria, as did Brigitta, Liesl, and Kurt. Friedrich stood near them with Marta who clutched his legs and sobbed loudly.

For a long time the family stood there holding on to each other as the trauma of the last hour began to sink in.

Although the von Trapp's world was just shaken, nature still moved, it still lived. The sun rose and filled the mountains with glorious light, the birds chirped and sang their daily song, wildlife moved. A new day had begun.

Maria did not know what to do. Never had she felt so hopeless, never had she felt so lost, never had she felt as unsure as she did now. To proceed without Georg? The thought was reprehensible. Maria was torn, her husband, her love was just taken. And here she was with seven children she sworn to love and protect, all alone on a mountain.

Maria looked up to the sky, the fog had disappeared, and she was able to make out the Swiss border not too far off in the distance. She promised Georg that she would bring the children to safety had something gone wrong and as hard as it might be for her; she knew she must keep that promise.

Maria took a deep steadying breath and stood up, she looked at Liesl and

Friedrich, they nodded in understanding-mature beyond their years. They must continue to Switzerland. Maria took Gretl's hand, while Friedrich took Marta's and Brigitta's; Liesl took Kurt's, but could not find-

"Louisa!" Liesl shouted after her sister who ran to where Georg was hit. Liesl knelt next to her sister who clutched Georg hat which fell when the soldier lifted him. Louisa slowly raised her fingers to show Liesl the blood that covered her fingers-that covered her Father's hat.

"We can't just leave," she sobbed.

"Louisa, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" Liesl said with a shaky voice "but we have to go now, it's what Fath…it's what Father wanted"

Liesl offered her sister her arm, after a few minutes Louisa carefully tucked Georg's hat in her cloak, she stood and wiped away her tears and let Liesl guide her back to her family, as they began their descent to Switzerland.

* * *

Sophie Faerber watched her husband pace back and forth in their living room.

"Any more pacing Alex and you'll wear a hole in the carpet," she said.

Sophie knew reason for her husband's nervous pacing. The von Trapp family was due to arrive at there home two days ago and they had yet to.

Alex stopped his pacing momentarily to reply, "Something happened Sophie I'm sure of it, Georg is the most punctual being I ever met." And with a deep sigh he resumed his pacing.

Alexander Faerber was an Austrian in his late forties. He was a man of large stature-big, tall, and broad, with curly blond hair and remarkable green eyes. He spent many years as a bachelor till he met Sophie. They instantly fell in love and decided to marry, but Sophie who was Swiss, wished to remain near her parents. They compromised and settled to live in a small town bordering Austria. It was the best of both worlds, they lived in Switzerland, yet they were close enough to the Austrian mountains that Alex adored so much.

Alex, like Georg was a true seaman. They were both in the navy together, first meeting on the U-boot-Waffe. It was on their second mission together aboard the U-6 that they became friends. The U-6 was a newly constructed submarine and it was the first mission that Georg commanded.

And there would be many more to follow.

Although his senior, Alex became Georg's right hand man. No one could deny Alex's talents as navy man; he had the instincts, the intuition, that six sense one just need to be a commander-he even had all the physical attributes. But there was one flaw to Alex, he had a speech impediment that prevented him from being able to command men, and while that flaw hadn't prevent him from moving up the ranks, it did prevent him from rising all the way to the top.

Still, Alex felt no resentment towards Georg. In fact, he was proud of Georg's accomplishments. Barely out of the naval academy, had Georg proved himself to be as a master seaman and terrific leader. He led his men by example, and in turn his men were ready to go the distance for him. Overtime Alex had grown fond of Georg and viewed him as younger brother. The feelings were mutual. Georg respected Alex and trusted him with his life.

They spent many nights aboard reviewing strategies and war tactics. But it was during those late nights that the conversation would stray to other topics- life, religion, politics, and family. It was on one those nights that their friendship was cemented.

Alex was sitting in Georg's cabin when an officer ran frantically into the room.

"Sir, radar picked up a sub, we believe it's an enemy vessel.

The submarine burst to life. Georg started firing off commands a mile a minute.

"Get the torpedoes ready; secure the brigade!"

"Captain!" Georg walked to the consol, "were picking up a second vessel"

In a span of minutes Georg found his sub in a very dangerous situation. Surrounded by two enemy submarines they were practically sitting ducks in the water.

But he had an idea.

"Smidt!" Georg bellowed, "How deep are we?"

"Thirty meters sir"

Suddenly they heard a torpedo rip through the water. It just missed them.

"Hass" Georg called out to his Petty Officer, "dive us to sixty meters NOW! " Wolf, drive us fifty meter northwest!"

"Were going below the radar," Georg said more to himself than anyone else.

If the men thought Georg's plan was insane they did not express it. They were trained enough to know not to cross him. Alex exchanged a quick glance with Georg and any apprehension Georg felt related to his decision faded away by due to a subtle nod from Alex that said 'I believe in you'.

The truth was Georg's plan was insane, so insane that it had a chance to work- diving below the radar to escape detection. That way the enemy cannot spot them and target them. But the question was, could the submarine handle it? Two hundred meters below seas level was the most a submarine could go before endangering the structure of the vessel and the lives of everyone aboard

"Sixty meters bellow, sir" Smidt called out.

"I still have them on sonar, sir," Stol announced.

"Seventy-five meters bellow sir"

The only sound that emitted from the cramped boat was the faint beeping of the radar

"Ninety"

"One of the enemy subs is out of range"

"One hundred meters bellow, Captain"

Alex suppressed a groan. He felt his ears drums ready to pop as the pressure in the cabin became unbearable. He glanced at the men; all had pained expressions on their faces as the air pressure was beginning to become too much. The hubs were full to the max, the walls of the cabin were wet, and water dripped down on the floor and men and mingled with their sweat.

"One hundred and fifteen meters" the glass with covered the different gauges shattered.

"Out of detection" Stol said.

And so they lay one-hundred and fifty meter below sea level. Silence filled the cabin, except for the sounds of the torpedoes which ripped through the water above them as the enemy blindly fired.

Georg gritted his teeth oblivious to the pain in his head and ears and to the beads of sweat which glided down his temple. Ever since joining the navy, submarines fascinated Georg, and although he was considered quite young to command a mission, his knowledge of submarines surpassed those older and more experienced than him. In truth, Georg felt that his submarines were an extension of himself, thus intuitively, Georg knew their limits.

"Propel forward forty meters," Georg commanded.

"Yes sir, forty meters sir"

The U-boot drove forward, "turn the boat around, and surface"

"Yes Captain"

"One-hundred fifteen meters, sir"

"Fill the port!" Georg commanded.

"Ninety meters, Captain"

"Get into your posts!"

"Seventy-five meters below, sir"

"Torpedoes in place."

"Sixty meters below sea level."

"Ready…"

"Fifty meters."

"Enemy sub detected seventy-five meter south east from location," Stol cried.

"Forty meters, sir."

"Aim…"

"Thirty-five."

"FIRE" Georg roared.

The torpedoes exploded from the submarine and hit the enemy vessel squarely.

"Second round ready" Georg commanded.

Alex watched the scene before him. Although the submarine was full of life, it all seemed to happen in slow motion. Georg was at the center of it all as he manned a group of men and boys so effortlessly, so perfectly, so flawlessly. Each man knew his role, his part in the puzzle that made up the submarine.

"Aim…"

Although Alex never doubted Georg, it was clear his brilliant plan would work.

"FIRE!" Georg bellowed once more.

The cabin was remained till Hass exclaimed, "They're sending out a distress signal." The relief was evident in his voice.

The men let out a collective sigh of relief. Georg's magnificent strategy, although dangerous, saved their lives. The men were rejuvenated, happy to find themselves out of the dangerous situation they were in.

"Surface"

As giddy as Georg felt inside, he did not show it. He kept his face serious and stern till he was sure his sub was out of danger. When he was sure of it, he headed to his cabin as his men vivaciously saluted him as he passed. Followed closely by Alex, Georg entered his private cabin; when the door closed he finally let out the breath he held since his sub was detected. Alex began to laugh at the small smirk which formed on his friend's lips. Unable to control himself any longer Georg burst out laughing-the stress of the night finally tumbled out.

Doubled over from laughter Alex exclaimed "You idiot!"

For the next twenty minutes the U-14's commander and lieutenant were reduced to giggling school boys.

* * *

A knock at the door broke Alex from his reminiscing. Alex and Sophie exchanged anxious glances.

"Do you think-"

"Only one way to find out"

Alex quickly ran to the foyer. He threw the door open and felt a grin spread over his face. The von Trapp family stood before him. He looked at the group and his eyes searched for the smirking face of his friend. But it was nowhere to be found. He looked again at the faces of the von Trapp family and he felt instantly shaken to the bone. From Maria's pale face, to the older boy's black eye, to the stricken faces of the children, Alex could not help the feeling of dread which crept up on him.

"Where…where's Georg?" he stammered.

No one replied, but the raw pain on each and every one of their eyes gave him his answer.

"Oh no" was all he managed to say.

* * *

A/N: I wanted to capture a little of the Captain's life in the navy (couldn't help myself) I tried to have it through the eyes of someone else-I hope the mechanism was effective.

I researched Georg von Trapp's history and his naval missions. The U-boot-Waffe and the U-6 really existed. As to what I depicted in the story, it was purely my imagination.

Next chapter, the Captain will meet up with Herr Zeller again.


	3. Zeller's Plan

**Zeller's Plan**

A groan escaped Georg's mouth. He raised his hands to rub his aching head but found them bound. With a start, he tried to sit up, but the quick movement caused a wave of dizziness to pass over him. When it subsided, Georg tried to take in his surroundings without moving too much. He was lying in the back of a moving car with his hands chained and the back of his throbbing. He glanced at the soldiers in the front seats and clenched his jaw when he saw their arm bands. The events of last few hours suddenly came flooding back.

Georg reasoned that he must have been knocked unconscious for a few hours, as sunshine streamed through the windows. He blinked his eyes from the blinding sun, and they involuntary closed as his sleep-deprived body craved rest.

Before drowsiness overtook him, he offered a silent prayer for the safety of his family.

The vehicle which carried Georg came to a stop, and the two soldiers roughly pulled him out of the car. It took him a while to regain his footing, due to the blow to his head and his pure exhaustion. With the soldiers at either side of him, he was shoved forward into a building in Salzburg that housed Herr Zeller.

The soldiers led Georg to a room towards the back of the house. One soldier remained with him while the other went to make their presence known.

The soldiers entered a room with Georg just as Herr Zeller rose from his seat behind a desk.

"Ah, Captain. So nice to see you again."

Georg glared back at Herr Zeller while Zeller surveyed him carefully. Two days in the mountains had taken a toll on the impeccable Georg von Trapp. Dark circles were under his eyes. Blood covered his collar. His usually well kept hair was untidy, and a shadow of a beard covered his jaw and chin.

Still despite his disheveled appearance, Georg held himself like a proud man, standing straight with his shoulders back and his chin up.

"Quite a run you had us on," Zeller said, as he walked closer to Georg. "I must say I am little impressed by your audacity," he said, now standing toe to toe, "But it was useless."

Zeller then did something he'd rarely done in life. He punched Georg in the face. Georg grunted as the Zeller's fist came in contact with his mouth, but he did not fall to the ground as two soldiers were flanked on either side of him.

Zeller rubbed his knuckles and breathed heavily. He rarely became physical with someone-he preferred to have others do his dirty work. But Georg Von Trapp was an exception. He loathed the Captain, and he knew the feelings were very much mutual.

They had been rivals for years, unable to agree on anything and they only acted marginally civil to each other, for that was what society expected. Spurred by jealousy and different ideals, Herr Zeller always looked for a way to stick the proverbial knife in the Captain's back.

And this was his chance.

Zeller kept his eyes trained on Georg. Leering, pleased to see blood trickling down the other's mouth.

The Captain's actions were criminal, and thus he would die for it. Zeller would make sure of it. But not yet. Death wasn't enough. Not all Austrians were happy with the Anschluss and Zeller could not risk resistance. He would need to show all _patriotic _Austrians what could happen to those who were not compliant with the Third Reich. And who better than a former naval hero, guilty of treason?

If Georg was afraid of his fate, he did not show it. He would not show it, not to his adversary. But Georg knew his fate. He knew it on the mountain. He knew it in the car. He knew it the minute he saw Zeller's gloating face…Death. It was only a question of how and when. Thus Georg's only wish was to know the fate of his family, praying fervently that he didn't fail them miserably.

However, as he observed the mad glint is Zeller's eyes; Georg could not help but shudder inwardly. And after what felt like an eternity, Zeller finally broke the silence.

"Take him down to the cellar," he commanded.

Death itself would not punish the Captain sufficiently, he thought. No, he would not execute the Captain yet. He would break him first.


	4. Share the Same Moon

A/N: A big thank you to Crazy4urlove for betaing this chapter.

**Share the Same Moon**

**November 1938**

"No don't go!" he screamed.

Georg von Trapp woke with a start. A cold sweat covered his body, Georg shivered as he slowly looked at his surroundings. Ignoring the ache in his body, he climbed out of bed and stumbled to the window. He was in a small, dingy cell. The room was bare except for a small table, two rickety chairs that were in the center of the room and a thin mattress that lay on the floor along the wall. On the opposite wall there was a small, barred window; leaning heavily against a wall, the wall with the only window, he steadied himself as best he could with his hands bound and his body physically weak.

He looked out the window trying to forget his nightmare. It was the same one each night:

_He was running through a forest. It was dark and the wind howled around him. Shadows loomed just beyond the trees, out of his reach- shadows of the past. A red headed man bleeding in his arms, dying; a pair of panicked eyes, a gun held in his steady hand, pulling the trigger, killing a man; a woman with long blond hair shivering, his arm around her desperately trying to warm her; a quiet house, a lonely bed, emptiness, a red flag hanging over the door in his home, a boy pointing a gun at his chest; a dark mountain, a sharp pain, faces disappearing into nothingness…_

That same blasted dream, every night! Robbing him of what little peace he was allowed. Whenever the nightmares came, Georg would stand by the window staring at the moon, its presence in the sky giving him peace.

At the tender age of fourteen he was sent to the naval academy. As he parted with his mother, she gave him a tight hug and whispered in his ear, that whenever he is lonely he should look to the sky; for no matter how far apart they may be, they still shared the same moon.

And throughout his life he did stare at the moon, and in his cell in Salzburg he often spent hours looking out the window thinking of Maria and the children, reflecting on his life, the decisions he made-his failures. Solitude stirs that sort of reflection, as does the death sentence hanging over ones head.

He had endured a lot over the last few weeks. Zeller has been ruthless and let Georg be his men's' entertainment. They beat him, starved him, and humiliated him- Zeller's orders being "do whatever you like with him".

However, the worst torture has been the uncertainty surrounding the fate of his family. Did they make to Switzerland? Are they all safe? Are they even alive? If one member of his family were hurt… he would never forgive himself.

Georg was never an optimist; he tended to worry and therefore liked having everything carefully planned. It was who he was, as a naval officer, as a husband, and as a father. Georg did not take risks unnecessarily, he always had a plan, and he always had a way out.

But now there was no way out. Zeller intended to torment him, both psychically and mentally, before killing him. And Herr Zeller has learned something about Georg von Trapp over the last couple of weeks. The Captain cared little about his own welfare, thus the way to break him was to aim right at his heart. Zeller toyed with Georg's sanity with vague words and cruel insinuations. He never a told of the fate of the family and the uncertainty was slowly gnawing at George's soul.

"Please let them be okay," he prayed while staring at the silver moon till the soft rays of dawn appeared.

* * *

Maria was not feeling well. She was completely exhausted and drained. It was as if her energy was zapped without Georg.

Georg, how deeply she missed him, how worried she was. It has been a three weeks and there had been no word of him. Was he alive or … no she couldn't think of such things, surely he was alive, her Georg, her sea captain, her strong and brave Georg.

She felt tears running down her cheeks, and found herself crying yet again "this is ridicules Maria" she scolded herself. Now was not the time to cry, but that is what she found herself doing all the time. As much as she needed to be brave now, and help the children, she could not seem to stop crying.

And as much as she tried, the children haven't been doing too well. Adjusting to a new life, in a strange land was hard enough; but doing it without their father was worse. She closed her eyes and tried to get that horrible image-Georg being hit over the head with a terrible crack, his body falling limp and unmoving-out of her head.

Liesl had been her savior, always ready to help with the children, acting somewhere between a friend and a daughter. Friedrich has been taking the role of a man, but his toothy grin has been so absent; Louisa had been quiet and withdrawn; Kurt found solace in eating even more food than usual; Brigitta escaped more often to read her books; Gretl and Marta have been so confused and scared, often waking up with nightmares of that awful night at the border.

And Maria had been there, drying their tears, cradling them in their arms, trying to ease their pain, and keep their hopes alive. But she'd never felt so lonely, sleeping in the big master bedroom in Berne while her husband was somewhere in Austria, far away from her.

She then sank into her empty bed, lying on her side so she could look outside the window and stare at the silver moon. "Oh Georg…where are you…" she choked, and like she had done every night for the last few weeks, she cried herself to sleep.

* * *

Rays of sunshine streamed through Maria's bedroom window.

She woke up felling very sick. She dashed for the bathroom, just reaching the toilet bowl before she vomited.

Maria sank down to the floor and rested her head against the cool tiles of the bathroom, taking shaky breaths in an attempt to calm herself.

Eventually she regained her composure and soon she stood and dressed for the day. She had been feely queasy for the last few days, however this was the first morning she actually threw up. _Relax, Maria it's nothing._ She blocked out the worrisome thoughts as she proceeded down the hall to wake the younger girls.

She listened behind the door and heard silence. Maria turned the knob and quietly opened the door to Brigitta's, Marta's, and Gretl's room.

Brigitta had her nose buried beneath a book; Gretl sat besides her playing with her hair as she read. Maria noticed Marta laying low in her bed, clutching her doll. Maria felt her heart break watching Marta. Her second to youngest had had the hardest time getting over George's capture. She loved him very much and they seemed to have a special bond.

Maria approached Marta's bed and gathered her in her arms. Marta let out a little sob as Maria stroked her hair. After her crying subsided somewhat, Maria asked "Marta do you know what's tomorrow?" Marta shook her head, "tomorrow you'll be starting school." Maria said, trying desperately to get the little girl's mind off her father

Hearing the word "school" Gretl's head shot up in interest. She stopped playing with Brigitta's hair and ran to Marta's bed.

"Oh mother, am I really going to go to school tomorrow!" Gretl exclaimed.

"Yes darling"

"Good"

"Now isn't that exciting Marta?" Maria asked. Marta nodded slightly. "Well, then how about we get dressed and have breakfast before going to buy your school supplies." Marta and Gretl nodded enthusiastically. Even Brigitta's face appeared from behind the book.

Maria was hoping that school would bring some sense of normality to the children's lives. Nevertheless, a part of her felt guilty in doing so. Georg was in danger and she and children were going about their lives like nothing is wrong?

She now understood why Georg acted the way he had towards the children after Agatha's death. He felt that enjoying his children and going about his life would be disrespectful to her. _But he's not dead_. She reminded herself.

* * *

"You're a man now Friedrich" how many times have those words echoed in his ears? "You're a man now Friedrich".

Friedrich von Trapp has been left with a task; it was his father's wish for him to take care of his family. Friedrich rose from his chair and began pacing the room. "I am a man now" he said to himself. "I am a man now" he repeated out loud. _Then why don't I feel like one?_

Friedrich momentarily stopped his pacing and ran his finger through his smooth blonde hair. He and his sibling have been in Switzerland for three weeks. They spent four days with Alex before coming to Berne. Alex insisted on driving them to their new home despite Maria's protest; but Friedrich knew that she really appreciated Alex's help.

On their second day in Berne Maria, Friedrich and Alex made a trip to town while Liesl watched over the younger children. In town they went to a bank to inquire about the amount of wealth Father had left them. It was a substantial amount, but considering that there was an economic depression and that the world was at the brink of war, their assets would have to be spent wisely.

For that reason Maria felt it was wise to save as much money as possible and not hire help, Alex and Friedrich however, tried to convince her otherwise. They argued that there was no way Maria could feed, cloth, and care for such a large family without help. But Maria, being as stubborn as she is, refused; besides, she reasoned, how could they find someone they could trust.

Maria was trying hard to make everything as normal possible for the children without Georg-sewing cloths for the family, playing with the children, and singing songs to them.

Soon Friedrich and his siblings would start attending classes at the local school, "because that is what children do." Friedrich agreed, except for himself. School again, the thought was laughable to him, not with the tasks of caring for his family. School was the last thing on his mind, they needed money. True Father left them with a lot, but with a family of eight they'll need food, clothing, toys, books…

Standing in a sparsely decorated room in Berne Friedrich heard his father's phantom voice again, calling him, beckoning him, drawing him to make a difficult yet so simple decision. Friedrich made his decision- he would go to work. The biggest challenge would be to convince mother.

Friedrich resumed his pacing while fiddling with his father's knife in his pocket. "I am a man now" he said.

* * *

"Absolutely not!" Friedrich looked completely shocked. Never had he heard his mother use such a tone a voice with him- Father was usually the disciplinarian.

Maria surprised herself as well with her tone of voice.

The day had been long and taxing. After breakfast she and all the children headed to town to buy supplies for school. At the time it had seemed like a good idea to take all of them long. But by the end of the trip Maria was worn and exhausted. The rest of the day had all the usual chaos seven children can bring and only before dinner did Maria find five minutes to rest.

It was during those few minutes of reprieve that Friedrich mistakenly chose to speak to his mother. Already tense from the stressful day, Maria would not hear, nor agree to Friedrich proposition of dropping out of school and going to work.

An argument ensued between the two.

"Friedrich, I appreciate your concern for the family, but you are not dropping out of school and ruining your future, we will manage fine" Maria stated firmly.

With no room open for discussion Maria rose from her seat. However, a wave of dizziness hit her and she was barely conscious of two arms trying to catch her as she fell to the floor.

* * *

Maria woke up and found seven anxious faces staring intently at her.

"What happened?" Maria asked.

"You fainted" Liesl answered simply. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine now" Maria replied as she attempted to get up, before Liesl's sturdy hand laid her back down.

"Mother" Liesl started slowly; "I… we think you should see a doctor, because you see…it's just you haven't looked well for the last few day" she finished quickly.

Maria knew she hadn't been well the last few weeks. But she didn't want to worry about it, nor did she want to burden the children. Little did she know that she looked so obviously sick. The truth was she was worried, and as much as she hated doctors; to ease her worries and the children's she agreed to see the doctor.

* * *

Doctor Wolfsan entered his next patient's room, while reading her chart. Patient exhibits symptoms of dizziness, fatigue, and some vomiting. Must be a new mother, who did not recognize the symptoms, but he'd have the nurse take a urine sample, just to be sure. Dr. Wolfsan looked up from his chart and saw a young woman sitting before him. She was blonde, thin, very pale and seemed at the verge of tears; next to her stood an equally young woman holding her hand and looking very anxious.

He saw that the blond woman was wearing a wedding ring, so she must be married. Having worked in the medical profession for many years he'd seen his fair share of expectant mothers; and sometime they'd come to his office alone. Some were not married. But others were left alone, as their husbands were of fighting the _war to end all wars;_ and they did not always return home. In recent years there have been peace, but now with the world at the brink of war…

"well there will be many more widowed and orphaned children" he grimly thought.

Giving his full attention to the woman before him, they began to discuss how she was feeling; he was in middle of taking down her medical history when the nurse came back with her results.

Pregnant.

"Ah miss," The doctor started, referring to Liesl, who had insisted on accompanying Maria. "would you mind waiting outside so that I can have a word with Frau von Trapp"

Liesl nodded and squeezed Maria's hand before leaving the room.

"Well Frau von Trapp, I think I figured out what was ailing you, and it was what I was expected. Congratulations you're pregnant, and from what you told me I'd say you're at least two months along.

Maria stared at the doctor with a look that fell somewhere between total shock and complete awe. Instinctively her hand went to her abdomen that was now nurturing a new life, as tears streamed down her face.

The doctor awkwardly scratched his neck, he did not know what to say to the woman crying before him, and maybe he should ask her friend to come back. When Maria's tears subsided somewhat, he finally cleared his throat and asked "where is your husband miss?"

"He's not here" was her only reply.

The doctor nodded in understanding.

"Do you want me to call the young woman back?"

Maria nodded, and when Liesl re-entered the doctor sat down and spoke with Maria about the changes she will be experiencing over the next few months; a healthy diet she should stick to; and general recommendations a woman who is expecting should adhere to.

As she and the doctor spoke, Maria's emotions settled. By the time she and Liesl left the doctor, she was feeling better, and a certain glow radiated from her. She and Liesl decided not to tell the rest of the children the good news yet. When Maria returned home she assured the children that she was healthy and everything was fine.

By the time the children were ready for bed, they were sure that Maria was fine. Only Friedrich remained looking miserable, he could hardly look at Maria. She could read his guilty expression easily. Therefore before bed she spoke with him and reiterated that she was feeling fine, and he has nothing to feel guilty about. Friedrich however remained skeptical.

"But after our argument you feinted" he protested.

"Friedrich I'm not ill, you didn't do anything wrong" Maria started "I'm just… we'll I'm expecting a child." She felt strange sharing this information with her adolescent son, but at the same time she couldn't let him agonize over the misperception that he caused her harm. "I haven't been eating and resting enough."

Friedrich stared at her few a few moments with a dumbfounded expression, as he processed what Maria had just told him.

His mouth twitched slightly, a gesture so similar to his Father "So I guess I will be going to work after all" Friedrich said with a mischievous grin.

"Friedrich, you really are impossible" Maria said with a chuckle. For the first time since her honeymoon, Maria allowed herself to smile a genuine smile.

* * *

Herr Zeller paid a visit to the Captain with the intention of only causing malice. He entered the cell while Georg was in the process of eating his meal-a piece of crusty bread and a cup filled with dark liquid that could be called coffee only by name and not by taste.

"I see your enjoying your meal," Zeller said while sitting down on an empty chair by the table.

"Yes, it quite a feast"

"I have some news that I'm sure would interest you, news of your family". He waited for Georg to react before continuing, Georg remained silent and stoic.

"They're dead captain"

Georg felt a surge of hatred that he never felt before. Acting on impulse alone he lunged at Zeller, knocking him down, while wrapping his fingers tightly around his throat- choking him. He never felt a rage as he felt now. He wanted to kill Zeller –if only with his bare hands then so be it.

The soldiers quickly responded by prying the Captain's hands off Zeller's throat and pulling him off. Zeller was left gasping for air, but for a moment when his eyes locked with Georg's blazing ones, before the latter disappeared under a sea of soldiers.

Latter that night Zeller took the stairs once again to see the Captain. Only this time he made sure that his two burliest soldiers accompanied him. As they entered the cell one look at the Captain convinced Zeller that his cautiousness was unwarranted. The consequences of the Georg's actions left the soldiers to be merciless in his beating. His face was viciously bruised. Both eyes were blackened; his lips were swollen and cut. Blood oozed from his mouth and nose-staining his shirt, hair, and face.

He looked forlorn, lost, and beat. he and his family no longer shared the same moon.

TBC


	5. The Villa Once More

**A/N: Warning!- This chapter is very angsty. I had some hesitation publishing it as it is, for I understand that some do not like this type of plot in the Sound of Music, but there is a method to my madness and I do promise an eventual happy ending. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

**The Villa Once More**

Although many of the elite of Austria supported the Anschluss, there were some like Captain von Trapp, who did not approve of it. And although Anschluss happened peacefully, Herr Zeller felt that he could not chance resistances. He felt that those who could not be persuaded through diplomacy must be persuaded through another median, fear.

His nefarious mind found a way to strike fear in the hearts of Austrians by using one of their own. Letters were sent to the aristocrats of Austria for a gathering that would occur in the home of the disgraced Captain von Trapp. Among those receiving an invitation, were Austrians known for their patriotism, those who were suspected of not approving the Anschluss, in addition to close friends and associates of the Captain.

It was and invitation that could not be refused.

In mid December, Elsa Schrader and Max Detweiler found themselves making the familiar trip from Vienna to Salzburg. Elsa's connection to the Captain were well known. Her relationship with Georg was the talk of Vienna and Salzburg for some time as she was expected by all to finally capture the "tortured hero's" heart. The fallout of their relationship not withstanding- the Baroness, in Zellers eyes, was still suspect to harbor the Captain's sentiments.

As for Max, Zeller was unsure of his feelings. On the one hand Max seemed to be quite agreeable. He was hardly an idealistic man and did not care for politics. He had a reputation of not caring much for anything but himself. Max was notorious for his indifference regarding who would run the country, and what flag his town's people would wave, as long as he could enjoy all the comforts of life? With fine wine, choice of cigars, and music- Max loyalties could be bought. But on the other hand, he was an intimate friend of the Captain, and was present at the Villa, the night the family tried to escape. And while Zeller could not prove it, he was sure the Max Detweiler played a significant role in the von Trapp family singers' escape.

Max and Elsa drove slowly up the drive leading to the Villa. From afar the house looked the same, but upon closer inspection, they could see the neglect the house suffered. Foliage covered the walk, stray branches and broken twigs littered the floor, and the once immaculate gardens were sullen and barren. Although the Villa still held its architectural splendor, it was stripped of most of its beauty and decoration, with no master to say a salary the servants abandoned the house, and looted it in the process.

The guests gathered in the chilly house-void of warmth and in habitats-in the hall beneath the steps of the foyer. All spoke in hushed tones and guarded words. The times and circumstances called for it, as how could one know who to trust? The forced conversations remained till Herr Zeller entered with his soldiers, two flanked at either side of Captain von Trapp

The crowd could not help but gasp. The room was filled with buzz; Georg von Trapp was hardly recognizable.

Even Elsa, who was granted a deeper view into Georg, had never seen him like this. Or Max, who had been his friend for over twenty years, been to war with him, and witnessed his grief over the death of a beloved wife.

A naval hero, decorated with the highest honor, a man who would never be seen without a jacket and tie, a man who always held himself with utmost decorum and formality, a man who appeared reserved, but yet had a spirited look, and at times mischievous twinkle in his eyes, could this be man be who appeared before his friends with torn and soiled clothing?

Elsa blinked several times. This was not the man she left in the summer. He tinned tremendously, and the clothing he wore did little to mask the neglect that surrounded him: His pants and boots were worn and he was dressed in only a tattered shirt- that same shirt used to protect him from the winter elements, revealed too much of his chest. His face was swollen and bruised, he looked haggard and unkempt with a full black beard sprinkled liberally with gray-which covered his gaunt and thin face. And his eyes, his eyes were deep dark tunnel- void of all emotion.

Perhaps it would have been better if the Georg did not possess the ability to feel, for as the Captain became cognizant of where he was, and who he was before, he felt a deep blush creep up his face and betray his humiliation.

His eyes were no longer without emotion, as raw pained filled them.

Like a freight train a rush of memories flashed before his eyes, the pain was so acute that he was hardly able to keep himself upright.

Memories…

So many memories…

Triggered just from his place atop the steps…

He turned his head to the right as his eyes traveled up the steps leading to the family's quarters. He was reminded of the times he traveled those same steps to his bedroom after coming home from a mission, and of the times Agathe would run down to him and fling herself into his arms.

His naval duties kept him from home for long periods, but he would always send word before his return and Agathe would anxiously wait for him. One time his commander was unwell and as a result their post-mission briefing was canceled and Georg was able to return early.

He traveled through the night from the port and arrived home just after dawn. The house was quiet-it was even too early for any servant to be up-as he let himself in. He took off his boots at the door, crept quietly up the steps, and slipped in to his bedroom.

The rising sun cast a light on the master bed where buried beneath the covers laid his wife. In his eyes there was not woman more beautiful than his Agathe: her long blonde hair spilled over the pillows, her slender frame rose and fell as soft breaths escaped her full and lustrous red lips, her dark lashes adorned her eye lids, which kept her magnificent gray eyes hidden.

He stood a few minutes and admired his wife as he removed his uniform jacket and undid his tie.

He sat down at the head of the bed and reached with his hand to sweep some stray hair from her face. With his other hand he cupped her chin he guided her lips to his.

The tender kiss succeeded in revealing her dazzling eyes, which gazed at him lovingly.

"Good morning darling"

"Is it morning?", she asked sleepily. "What a pity, I was having such a nice dream about a sea captain"

"It's no dream," he said, as he bent down and kissed her again. This time the kiss was passionate, almost hungry.

"I missed you"

"I know"

"I love you Georg," Agathe murmured, as he began to plant kisses on her face. "I love you," she repeated as he kissed the hollow of her neck.

There was no war, the world was not mad, he did not have countless responsibilities, he didn't spend months away from home. No, nothing in the world mattered that moment, save for having the woman he loved in his arms once more.

* * *

Georg was reminded of all he lost. He sacrificed his family for his ideals and a blasted country that was no more. His family was his life and he was stripped of it due to his own follies and foolish ideals. He saw no reason to go on.

Georg remained wrapped in his thoughts while Zeller spoke and he paid no attention to the villain's words till he was addressed directly.

"You know, I was reading some accounts of naval history, interesting read, and quite a life style. I'm sure you as a naval officer are very versed in it. So tell me Captain, are you aware of the means of punishment Captains who preceded you would inflict upon insubordinates?"

Georg's face instantly paled. Till the middle of the 19th century, Flogging was a method used to punish insubordinate sailors aboard Navy or Merchant ships. The unruly sailor was publicly whipped to teach others the consequence of disrespect and dissent. Flogging was not meant to only psychically punish, but it was also extremely humiliating to the sailor. In Lord Nelson's times it was not uncommon that other fleets would send their men to witness the lashing.

"I believe you know what I am referring to, a fitting punishment for ignoring orders, don't you think?" Zeller sarcastically asked.

A he motioned to two of his men to step forward. They grabbed Georg and bound him to the nearest pillar.

Muffled cries filled the hall as the occupants became aware of what would transpire. Elsa tightened her hand around her throat to stifle a scream as the solider viciously whipped Georg.

In horror, the nobles of Austria witnessed a fellow aristocrat, a Baron, and hero treated with the utmost shame and indignantly. Zeller's plan worked, as fear kept their mouths shut; the only sound filled the hall was the sound of the whips on the Captain's back.

Georg himself empowered super strength-despite the pain-did not utter a sound. Instead he directed his mind to not focus on the pain.

_Don't let them see your hurt,_ he thought. The monsters took away his home, family, health, dignity, and they would probably take his life. But he would not give them his pride.

But his stubbornness and pride could only accomplish much, and his body reacted to the abuse. Soon his legs faltered and only his arms bound above him kept him upright.

But he did not yell

* * *

Baron von Schöbrun was seething. He was one of the few people who knew the Captain as a child. He was friends with Georg's father and was close with the family.

"Enough with this madness! Hasn't he suffered enough?" The Baron snapped.

"Do you sympathize with him?" Zeller asked.

"You're mad"

"I'd be careful Baron" Zeller sneered, "Unless you want to join him, your blood is no bluer"

The interruption broke Georg's concentration and he was no longer able to hold himself together, the lashes continued and the Captain cried.

He was at the verge of breaking down and his cries had become feeble. His vision clouded; the pain was so acute that he could not know where it started and where it ended. Georg was no longer aware of his humiliation; all he was aware of was an intense desire for it to end-not only the torture-but his life.

Zeller raised his hand to stop the beating. The soldiers unbound Georg, who collapsed on the floor- his body shaking from cold, hunger, and pain.

"The Ostrich buries his head in the sand and sometimes in the flag," Zeller said as he threw Georg's Austrian flag before him with contempt. He turned to the soldiers and said, "Leave him here; we'll return for whatever is left of him tomorrow."

Zeller then addressed the crowd: "I hope this was informative to you all. Austria is dead. There is only the Reich! It would be prudent of you to put all you support behind it, it's a pity the Captain did not."

Zeller turned to leave followed by his soldiers and the elite of Austria. The last soldier in the room locked the door behind the crowd. Baron Georg Ritter von Trapp was left in his home injured, alone, and in the dark.

* * *

To be continued...


	6. The Governess's Window

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews. They encouraged me to continue writing the story in the direction I wanted to take it. I hope this chapter answers some questions. **

**The Governess's Window**

He walked quietly as possible, careful to stay within the shadows of the house. He arrived at the spot he was searching for and looked up at the window of the second floor-the governess's room.

"_We always climb up the vines under the governess's window to play tricks on her," Marta accidentally blurted out, as her sibling shot her angry looks._

"_Oh, you won't tell Father, would you Uncle Max?" Louisa asked hopefully._

"_Don't worry; your secret is safe with me," he said. "As long as I am not on the receiving end of one of your pranks." Let them have their fun, he thought, they have had so little to smile about. _

Max Detweiler stumbled through the window, and landed with a thud in the governess's room. He wiped his brow that was covered with sweat, even though the weather outside was cold. _A man my age should not be scaling buildings,_ he wryly thought.

Stealthily he walked through the darkened halls-the moon provided him his only light- and down the steps of the foyer.

But Georg was nowhere to be seen.

_Where is he?_

Suddenly he heard a disturbance coming from George's study. Max cursed under his breath, and moved back into the shadows. As silently as his shoes allowed him, he headed to the study. A part of him wanted to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. He, Max Detweiler was climbing through windows and prowling in the darkness, like some sort of thief.

Max reached the study and peered around the door, the moonlight illuminating a figure hunched over a desk holding a dark object in his hand.

"Georg!" Max yelled as he dashed to his friend. He no longer cared about being discovered, all he cared about was the gun that Georg had just finished loading.

He lunged at Georg and after a struggle, Max managed to wrestle the gun from Georg grasp.

"Are you insane!"

"Please Max, please give me the gun."

Max pocketed the objects, as Georg weak and on his knees, tried in vain to grab it from him.

"Please Max…just give it to me… there nothing left..." Georg begged, "Please… there's nothing…I failed them…. I failed all of them…" he sobbed.

"Georg"

"Please Max" Georg pleaded again, "give me the gun…I need to end this…you're my friend… help me."

Georg-still on his knees- grabbed Max's coat.

"Georg calm down, be reasonable" Max said.

"Give it to me Max," he begged. Suddenly he roared "GIVE IT TO ME!" as he tried to wrestle Max down.

Under normal circumstances, Georg could have easily over taken Max. But Georg weakened from weeks of starvation and torture, in addition to what he endured the last hour was no match, as Max easily held him down. With both his arms, Max tightly pinned a flailing Georg in place as he surveyed the situation.

Georg was injured and in need of immediate care, his chances of staying at the Villa and surviving were nil, because either Zeller would hang him tomorrow, or Georg would find a way to kill himself.

Max noted the mad glint in Georg's eyes, and it freighted him. Is it not said that _"the eyes are the windows to the soul."_ Georg's told a story of a man who suffered immensely, and was at the brink of insanity, so much so that he lost the ability to reason.

"Max, you're my friend, you owe me this favor, help me" Georg said with an eerily calm voice.

The only way to help Georg would be to play along with him.

"Very well, Georg, but we will do it my way, and you will go as gentleman." Max pulled himself off Georg; he then lifted Georg and sat him behind the desk. Rummaging through the desk he produced a pen and a piece of paper. With Max's aid Georg produced a brief letter: a suicide letter.

_December 10__th__ 1938_

_Herr Zeller,_

_I hope you are not too disappointed with the contents of this letter. I will try to keep it short, as I have nothing more to say, I have made my sentiments of you and your beliefs well known. However, I'm afraid my pride and arrogance will not allow me to remain as your goat to be slaughtered. As G-d as my only witness I end my life. I return to my creator, and become one with the water once more._

_G-d Forgive me all my sins, G-d bless Austria._

_Sincerely, _

_Georg von Trapp_

Max had not counted on Georg being in such a mental state; however the turn of events –if he could have Georg cooperate fully- might benefit them. If Georg was thought to be dead, he would not be missed, and the chances of his escape to Switzerland increase. Faking his death would simple enough: All Max would need to do, was to leave the note, dispose of the gun, and push the row boat to the center of the lake where the apparent death would occur. It would be fitting that a naval officer would choose his final resting place to be in water. Furthermore, Max was sure that news of what occurred at the Villa earlier that evening would spread like wildfire, thus leaving no doubt that suicide was a probable conclusion to horrible and humiliating fate.

Max folded the letter and led Georg out of the study as he grabbed the Austrian flag off the floor. Georg leaned heavily on him as they walked to the veranda, down the steps to the lake. He left Georg leaning on the gate, placed the Austrian flag in the boat, and pushed it towards the center of the lake. Before Georg could react Max removed the gun from his coat pocket and threw it with all his might and as far as he could into the lake.

Georg saw the gun flying though the air and land in the lake with a splash. With a strangled cry he lunged at Max who roughly pushed him down to the floor at the base of the lake.

Through his tears Georg raved, "You promised! Let me die… let me join them… there nothing left in this world for me… THEY'RE ALL DEAD!"

Max silently listened as Georg continued on in a tirade. He understood the true reason for Georg's wish to die- he thought his wife and children were dead. But with little time and Georg's frenzied state, he saw no other option; Max Detweiler slapped his closest friend across the face.

Georg glared at Max with shock and anger. That angry expression was the most welcome sight Max had seen all night. It replaced the lost and empty look that held his eyes hostage and it signaled to Max, that there was still some of Georg von Trapp inside.

Max gazed directly into Georg eyes and he firmly said, "They're alive, all alive and safe in Berne." He tired to make Georg understand.

"Alex contacted me, they are all well and safe, Georg," he emphasized, as he watched Georg trying to comprehend the meaning of his words.

"They're alive?" Georg finally whispered.

"Yes"

Georg momentary closed his eyes, overcome with emotion, as Max took off his coat and wrapped it around his thin frame.

"Alive?" Georg asked again, disbelief and even hope were etched on his face.

"Yes, alive and well" Max reaffirmed.

The two men sat in silence, only their breathing filled the cold night air, till Georg spoke.

"You slapped me."

"Yes, well" Max let out a relieved laugh, "that could not be helped, and besides you deserved it and you know it- you arrogant, pompous, self-righteous toad." Max stood and offered Georg a hand and helped him to his feet.

"You've wanted to say that to me for a long time, no?" Georg sounded like his old self.

"I did" Max grinned. Suddenly serious he said: "come now, you like heck, and we're wasting to much of time already, we need to get you out of here." He placed a steadying arm around Georg and led him through the dark to a waiting car.

To be continued...


	7. Never Meant To Be

**Never Meant To Be**

Elsa sat in a dark car and clasped her hand tightly. She was not one to usually pray, but tonight she did. How could she not after what she witnessed? How could she not pray at a time when the world around her seemed to crumble?

_Georg publicly beaten and left to die in his own home...Max's mad attempt to save him..._

As they left the villa, Max and Elsa decided to try and save Georg. The despondent look his eyes plagued her, and she was sure they would haunt her for the rest of her life if she did nothing to help him. Max drove the car behind the villa and hid it among the untamed bushes. They waited till they were certain that all the guests had left, before Max instructed Elsa to stay in the car and wait-she waited and she prayed.

Suddenly she heard some movement coming from the lake. She turned and peered out the window and saw two figures approaching, one practically dragging the other. Elsa sprinted out of the car towards Max who –with difficulty- held up a semi-conscious Georg.

"It's not for me at my age to be gallivanting after hours," he whispered out of breath. "Be a dear and grab his legs for me before he freezes to death."

Elsa steeled herself and complied with Max's request. Together they lifted Georg- wrapped in Max's coat- and laid him down on the floor, in the back of the car. Elsa resumed her seat in the front, and as the car roared to life she tried her best not to look at Georg's face which was contorted in pain.

At first they drove aimlessly in silence, until Max revealed to Elsa what occurred when he found Georg-about the gun, the note, and the staged death.

"Max do you really think that was prudent?" she admonished. Georg had a family who would no doubt be devastated by the news. Elsa was not so cold hearted that she could not imagine what kind of the blow it would be to them.

"I don't know! What else should I have done?" he snapped.

"Don't yell at me!" she shot back with her eyes full of hurt. "Don't you think this is hard for me too?" she sobbed. Her usual composure was lost as she shed the tears that threatened to fall all evening.

Max was extremely unnerved by Elsa's breakdown, and he inwardly cursed himself for making her cry.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped at you," he said as he reached to squeeze her hand. "I just don't know what to do," he anxiously said.

They held on to each other hands for support and comfort, and continued to drive in silence with no destination and with no plan. They needed to get their friend to safety. But with their past and very public relationship, it would be foolish to take Georg to Vienna with Elsa, Max would not have the means to care for him, and the borders were closed- _if he would make it over the border with his injuries_, Max grimly thought.

When they drove past the monastery that Georg pointed out when Elsa first came to Salzburg an idea popped into her mind. For some reason the religious institution made her think of another. "What about the abbey?" she suggested. "They must be fond of Maria, perhaps they would help."

Max considered her suggestion. They had no other option, and perhaps the abbey would be kind enough to take them in. Max tuned the car around, and drove towards the abbey. It was their best option and possibly their only hope.

* * *

Sister Margaretta first heard the bells ringing and a sliver of fear beheld her as she thought of who may call so late at night. She met Sister Berthe at the courtyard and together they approached the gates.

They saw a lady and a gentleman who held up an individual who was obviously injured. The two begged that they would be allowed to enter the abbey.

The Reverend Mother approached from behind to investigate the source of the commotion.

"What is this my children?"

Max stepped forward: "Please, my name is Max Detweiler, our friend is injured and we need a place to hide him."

"Who is he?"

"Captain von Trapp."

"Captain von Trapp?" The Reverend Mother exclaimed, as the nuns exchanged shocked and equally anxious looks. The injured man before them looked nothing like the man they saw two months ago.

"He was caught at the border" Max explained.

"What of Maria and the children?" Sister Margaretta inquired with a frightened voice.

"They're safe in Switzerland."

"What happened to the Captain?"

"He was caught at the border and was held as prisoner for several weeks now; he has been badly beaten and needs to be tended to."

"Follow me," the Reverend Mother said without hesitation. Sister Margaretta and Sister Berthe followed closely behind as the Reverend Mother led the visitors through the deserted corridors to the back of the abbey, and up three flights of stair to a small room with a window facing the mountains.

Sister Margaretta hurriedly placed a sheet on a small cot as Sister Berthe retrieved a pillow and blanket. Max laid Georg on the cot and Sister Margaretta hurriedly left the room and came back moments later with gauze, bandages, and other medical supplies.

"I'll be in my office, Sister Bertha will remain in the hall if you need any assistance" the Reverend said as the three nuns left the room. As odd and unconventional it would be to hide a man in the abbey, the Reverend Mother felt compelled to help. She had met the Captain on two occasions. The first was when he asked her permission to marry Maria, and the second over two months ago when his family hid in the abbey. He had struck her as a fine gentleman and a sincere person, and a part of her was very fond of him for making Maria happy. Maria always held a special part of her heart, although it was obvious that the girl's future was not to be a nun. The Captain's virtues not withstanding, for Maria alone, she would take the risk of helping him.

Max wasted no time and began to undress Georg. He turned him over and tended to his back while he muttered a colorful string of words he had not uttered since the war.

War, he had not thought of it in years. In fact he tended to ignore the fact that it happened at all and that he was a part of it. Unlike Georg who was proud of his service and publicly displayed his loyalty, Max preferred to forget all that happened in war.

He was too disillusioned to think good of it.

As naval medic Max saw too much injury and too much death. Max swore he would never hold another scissor, gauze, or bandage in his life, yet ironically here he was tending to his closest friend. Even more ironic, was how the first time he and Georg met, the circumstances where a slightly similar.

Although Max was a civilian, and did not attend the academy, he held a post in the Austro-Hungarian Navy. At the time there was a great need for personal; therefore, medic positions and others like chaplains where filled by civilians.

He was on a cruiser that exchanged fire with an enemy ship. The wounded were bought below deck to be tended by him. After Max cared for the officers who were seriously wounded he turned his attention to officers who's injuries were not life threatening. A young man-_no a boy_- sat on the table covered in blood and holding tight to his injured arm. He was very pale and seemed to be in a state of shock, but one quick glance over him Max concluded that for the most part, the blood that stained the young ensign's uniform was not his, but a fallen comrade. Max had seen this often in men who were injured and saw their fellow men and friends die for the first time. Death always affected the Navy officers immensely. After spending so much time together in middle of the ocean-packed together like sardines in a can-a ship takes on the feeling of family; therefore, when one witnesses a death, it is more shocking and painful.

"Drink this," Max instructed, as handed the young man a shot of whiskey. Although the officer did not seem to hear him, he downed the whisky.

"What's your name?" Max asked, once the officer's eyes regained some focus.

"Uh, Ge..Georg…Georg von Trapp" he stammered.

"Nice to meet you Georg, I'm Max Detweiler" Max lightly said. He always preferred to address people by their first names and not their title. He felt that it made then more human, and medically they responded better to treatment when addressed by their name over their rank.

"It's only a flesh wound. I'll stitch you up, and you'll be good in no time."

Georg nodded his head, although his clear eyes betrayed his fears.

"Where are you from?" Max asked, trying to converse with the officer.

"Vienna"

"I gather this is your first time injured in battle," Max commented as he cleaned the wound with alcohol.

"Yes," Georg responded quietly.

Max was a bit impressed with the young man. It was obvious from his name and aristocratic features that the boy came from a very wealthy family. Usually the rich officers were the most spoiled and regressed to act like children whenever they were injured. But this young man held himself with pride and barley flinched as Max stitched his arm.

"You'll get used to it, the first time is always the hardest" Max said as he wrapped the arm with gauze. "There all done, come down to visit later and I'll look at your arm again."

"Thank you, sir"

"Call me Max," he said with a wave.

For some reason Georg did come to visit Max again, and again after that.

* * *

Max blocked out his thoughts of the past and concentrated on the task before him. Although so many years had passed, the medical skills Max possessed did not fade. With dexterous fingers he cared for Georg's battered body. Max was so immersed in his work that he barely registered Elsa, who stood in the corner of the room and tried in vain to remain composed.

He glanced up quickly. "For heaven's sake, do get some air before you faint and give me another burden to deal with," he advised.

Elsa quietly fled the room and Max continued his work. As he applied alcohol to the wounds, he felt Georg body squirm beneath his fingers, and he heard a cry muffled in the pillow.

"I'm sorry, it'll be over soon" he tried to sooth.

Max inspected the cuts on Georg back, there would probably be some scarring he grimly thought. He dressed the wounds and began to bandage Georg's chest- he could easily make out a few broken ribs. He then washed the dried blood off Georg's hair and face and covered his shivering body with a blanket.

He went to the door and found Sister Berthe standing in the hall. He inquired after some food and clothing. Soon, Sister Berthe returned with Sister Margaretta-one was carrying a bowl of soup and the other clothing and more blankets.

"This was left for us to give to the poor" Sister Margaretta said, "It was the warmest we could find."

Max helped Georg dress, and then spooned some soup into his mouth.

"It's not exactly the quality of food you're used to eating" Max said, as a sniffed at the soup with a frown. "But then again, it is probably an improvement over whatever they've been feeding you over the last few weeks."

Georg offered something between a grin and grimace as a response.

"Take a little more" Max urged. "You look like heck, you know."

After Georg finished eating, Max took the bowl and placed it on a small table. There was nothing more Max could do to help Georg- time would heal his injuries, and he was certain that Georg would regain his health as long as he continued to eat and rest.

"I hope you can stay here till you get strong enough to go over the boarder," he said with his back towards Georg. "I'd keep the beard though, it is quite disfiguring," he hesitated for a moment before saying: "I guess this is good bye for now."

"Yeah" Georg croaked. He always prided himself on keeping his emotion is check, but he could not help but choke now. The events of the night changed him. He never felt as alone as he did the last few weeks, but Max and Elsa's sacrifice to save him solidified his friendship with them, and left him with _some_ hope in people.

"Thank you Max" his tired voice was heavy with emotion, "not just for tonight but for-"

"Oh, don't get all sentimental on me Georg," Max wryly interjected as he turned to face him. "You know I cannot stomach fluff from anyone, especially not you. We'll see each other again soon enough" Max said with a small grin, "and I'll go back to being that charming sponge you adore so much" he added.

* * *

Elsa walked through the darkened abbey's hall with Sister Margaretta at her side as she thought of the conversation she just held with the Reverend Mother.

She had visited the Reverend's Mother's office where the two discussed the possibility of Georg hiding in the abbey till he would be healthy enough to walk across the mountains to Switzerland. From her purse Elsa produced a few crisp notes and placed them on the table. "Unfortunately, this is all I have on me now, I shall send more to cover the cost of keeping Georg here."

"That is unnecessary."

"It is. You're taking a great risk hiding him, and it is the least I can do."

"Very well my child, we'll take care of him. Sister Margaretta and Sister Berthe can be trusted"

"Thank you for your kindness" Elsa replied, as she stood and walked across the room. With her hand on the door she turned and added "one more thing... he tends to brood".

Elsa thoughts of the conversation came to an abrupt end as she quickly found herself standing before the door to Georg's room.

"I'll wait for you here" Sister Margaretta said.

Elsa nodded and once again steeled herself as she reentered the room.

Max sat by Georg's bed and the two spoke quietly. "Are you ready to go?" Max asked as he rose from the chair.

"Just give me a few minutes."

He nodded with understanding "I'll be outside."

Elsa approached Georg and sat at the edge of the bed. With her finger she gently smoothed his damp hair back."

"Hello" he breathed, while he took her free hand in his.

"Hello to you."

"No one's eyes should be that red, especially not yours."

She laughed as she wiped away stray tears. "Only you can be coy with me in such a situation."

He offered her a weak grin. His face was pale and the dim light cast shadows on his battered appearance. With her free hand she fingered the bruises which covered his face. His left eye was black and swollen, along his right cheek was a nasty purple mark which extended up to his temple, and another bruise ran along the left side of his jaw, his lip were swollen and bloody, above the bridge or his nose was gash and an equally ugly one covered his left cheek bone.

"Are you in a lot of pain?" Elsa asked as she mentally kicked herself at the stupidity of the question_. He was obviously in a lot of pain,_ but her nerves were fried and her brain felt like mush. It was funny how she spent so much time talking this man in the past; but now, in his presence, she doubted her ability to utter a coherent sentence.

"I've been better," he tried to joke.

"Oh Georg, I don't believe you've been worse!" she said with an exasperated sigh. Despite the severity of the situation they both managed a small laugh before Goerg's face turned serious-his eyes were surprisingly clear in the dim light.

"I'm sorry."

"For?"

"For everything, for hurting you like I did. I was such a wretch-and yet here you are risking your life to save my worthless one."

"Ssh darling" Elsa silenced him as she placed a delicate finger on his lips. "Please don't think of it, we both know it wouldn't have worked, it was never meant to be."

"I've sinned so much, done so much wrong-and not just to you." He had a far away look on a face, a look she was very familiar with. "Every ship I sunk, every torpedo I fired, and all the people I killed. Fathers, husbands, sons all dead on my orders!" he said with remorse. "On my command."

"You were at war, you had no choice," she tried to reason.

But he continued as if he hadn't heard her. " I always looked for more. I was never satisfied with damaging a vessel; I sank it too, for what? False reasons, It's all the same... our bodies all find the same end. As I see death before my eyes. I realize how wicked I am. But I am prepared for the devil, I deserve his wrath."

His words chilled her, as did the hopelessness in his voice and the anguish in his eyes. This was his repentance. Elsa held his face in her slender hands and forced him to look her in the eyes "Georg von Trapp you stop talking like that and you stop it right now!" she sternly said. "You were never meant to live the life of a saint, what's done is done. How many times have I told you that you can't live in the past but for the future? And you have so much to live for," she added. "You have a family, a wife, and children who love you and need you. Forget the past and move on, I'll never forgive you if you die."

"I'm too scared to live."

"I don't believe you scared of anything Georg." She took his hand in hers again, and momentarily closed her eyes before she continued: "Please get better, and get out of here and live a happy life with your wife and children... you owe that much," she softly said.

"How can I ever repay you?" he asked, his voice so weak it was hardly more than a whisper.

"Ssh. Just close your eyes and sleep."

Exhaustion overcame him. Although his mind protested, Georg's body finally agreed with Elsa's request as his eyes closed and he fell into a deep sleep. Elsa watched his chest as it rose and fell with each breath he took. She placed his limp hand over his chest, and guided the blanket to his chin and covered him completely.

When she returned to Vienna, after they broke their engagement, she convinced herself that she did not truly love him; rather she missed his companionship and his presence in her life. He was after all rich, respected, and wickedly handsome. But seeing him tonight reminded her of how much she cared for him, all of him- even the stubborn, proud, brooding man, who bleeds and hurts just like any other man.

Affectionately she smoothed his brow and placed a tender kiss on his forehead.

_Some things are never meant to be._

"Sleep well my love," she whispered before she rose and left the room.

* * *

A/N: I am of the opinion that Elsa is not truly "Baroness Machiavelli" and really did love Georg and that Max is more than just a "charming sponge". I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you for reading and the feedback!

Next chapter: More about Maria and the children.


	8. Five Stages of Grief

**

* * *

**

Five Stages of Grief

"Easy now, place that over there," Herr Nuefeld pointed to the far end of the room. "Good job, boy!" he exclaimed to Friedrich who placed the large bag of flour on the floor.

Samuel Nuefeld observed the boy before him with a satisfied grin. Two months ago, Friedrich von Trapp had appeared at his bakery and asked for a job. The boy explained that he had come from a large family and needed to financially support them.

"Where is your father?" Samuel inquired.

"He's not here," Friedrich simply replied.

Samuel Nuefeld was never one to ask many questions, so he accepted the boy's response, and gave him the job. The bakery he and his wife owned was becoming too much to manage with their daughters married and away. He and his wife, Eva were getting older and needed a young and able person to help them around the bakery. Samuel's only hesitation in hiring Friedrich was his age. He was young, perhaps too young, but the earnest look in Friedrich's face when he asked to be hired caused Samuel to take an instant liking to him.

Friedrich presented himself as a polite and educated boy who was eager to work and to learn. He was a foreigner no doubt - judging by his accent and clothes – and it was clear that the boy was raised in a wealthy home. Samuel understood that something must have happened to the boy's father to cause him to look for a job, but again, Samuel was not one to ask too many questions.

Friedrich was a hard worker and interacted well with the customers. Samuel could tell that Friedrich tried to act the part of an adult, but still at times that youthful grin would appear. Over the last couple of months Samuel had become fond of Friedrich, as did his wife, who fretted over his thin frame and tried to fatten him up with lots of cocoa and cakes. Since economic times were difficult, they took pity on the polite boy from a big family - in addition to the salary they paid Friedrich, each night they sent him home with a loaf of bread and treated the family to a cake on Sundays.

Friedrich's life fell into a routine. Every morning after breakfast he rode his bike to the bakery and worked. At lunch he would sit in the back of the store and eat while reading Samuel's daily newspaper. Reading had never interested Friedrich in the past; however ever since he had arrived in Switzerland, Friedrich read the newspaper every day. Mostly to find out of any news from across the border, and partly because it was something his father had done. Reading was one of the many things Friedrich did to emulate his father. Of all the children, he was the one who had transformed the most since that fateful night on the Alps. True, all of his siblings had changed in some way from the trauma of that night, but to anyone who knew the family, it was instantly recognizable that it was Friedrich who had evolved the most – he had become a man.

It was a cold and snowy day when Friedrich ate his lunch. The weather outside was bitter and the bakery was quieter than usual. Eva was in the apartment she and Samuel owned above the bakery, while Samuel sipped his coffee silently as he watched the snow is falling from the window. As usual Friedrich scanned the newspaper, but this today his eyes caught an article about news that had spread across the Alps. He couldn't finish reading, as tears filled his eyes. Samuel noticed the sudden change in Friedrich's demeanor, but before he could react the young boy fled the room and the store.

Samuel approached the table to investigate what caused Friedrich such distress. His eyes rested on the open newspaper. Its headline read:

_"Disgraced naval officer commits suicide in his home."_

Later, Samuel Nuefeld could not say what possessed him to chase after Friedrich. Perhaps he had grown fond of the boy. Perhaps Friedrich was the son he always desired, but never mind the reason, Samuel Nuefeld quickly grabbed his coat and darted out of the bakery and into the snowy streets as fast as his old legs could carry him.

He did not have to look far. Slumped next to a tree was Friedrich with his face buried in his arms. Cautiously, Samuel approached the boy. He knelt next to Friedrich and placed his hand softly on the boy's shaking shoulder. He waited and said nothing. The mystery of Friedrich had been solved, and now Samuel understood everything.

When Friedrich finally looked up, his eyes were wet, and his cheeks were red and raw from both the cold and his tears.

"He's gone," he sputtered. "It's all my fault…I could have helped him… We could have walked faster…I had the gun…I could have done something - It's my fault he's dead!" he cried out in anguish.

Friedrich felt a heavy weight in the pit of his stomach. It was not as if he were immune to death, after all, his mother had died when he was ten years old. For some reason, however, his father's death affected him far more than his mother's death five years earlier. Agathe's sickness, although short was very intense and fierce. At some point it became clear she was going to die. It had not been a question of_ if_; it had been a question of _when_. As a result he was given a chance to say good-bye and indulge in all the love his dying mother could give and cherish it for the rest of his life.

But his father, his brave, strong father could not die. He was invincible.

_"Disgraced naval officer commits suicide in his home."_

Suicide? What did that mean? How could that even be possible?

Friedrich was so confused. How could his father commit suicide? That thought alone caused him to break down even further. He was not alone, however as he felt the sturdy arms of Samuel Nuefeld. He buried his head deeper in the aged baker's chest. For the first time in years, Friedrich cried. He needed someone – anyone - to lean on. He needed to cry.

* * *

Alex Faerber drove up the hill towards the von Trapp home. Sophie was with him, insisting that he not make the visit alone. He was thankful for her being there simply because he needed her support.

They knocked at the door and after a few minutes a very solemn looking Liesl opened the door.

"Hello, dear," Alex said.

Sophie stepped forward and embraced Liesl. Holding her tightly, she whispered words of comfort.

Liesl wiped her tears and regained some composure. "Mother is the sitting room."

Liesl led them through the hallway. Alex was familiar with the layout of the house, as he had visited a few times to assist the family as they tried to settle in to their new home. Today, however, even the brightly painted walls seemed gray. They entered the sitting room and Sophie immediately headed to Maria and pulled her into her in a deep hug.

Maria's face was pale and drawn, and she looked like someone who was utterly lost.

"How are you feeling, dear?" Sophie asked.

"Fine." Maria said with a flat voice.

"This must be terrible for you."

Maria simply shrugged her shoulders.

"Maria, when is the baby due?" Sophie asked gently.

"July," she replied with that same flat tone of voice.

_A Baby._ Alex's eyes bulged. He was too busy looking at Maria's face that he had failed to notice her swelling stomach. A baby, she was having a baby. He tried to absorb that information, Georg's child, a child who would never know his father.

They sat quietly for a few minutes. Alex was rarely verbal and was now at a complete loss of words. While driving down to Berne, he had thought of so many things he could say, but now, in Maria's presence all the words he could think of seemed empty and pointless.

"Is it true?" Maria finally spoke up.

"Pardon?"

"Is it true what they say… about the way he went?" She tried to clarify. She could not say the word 'died', not yet, but for some reason it was important for her to know exactly how Georg had passed. She knew she would never have closure if she did not know. How he died would not change the fact that her husband was dead, but it made a difference to her.

She stood facing the windows, hugging herself. Suicide. She just did not want to believe that that was the way Georg had died.

"Yes, so it seems." Alex quietly replied.

"How could he have done that?" She asked, as the tears that threatened to fall finally slid down her pale face.

"He had no choice."

"What do you mean he had no choice?" she questioned, with a hint of anger in her voice.

"He…" Alex stammered, "He had no other option, Zeller was intent on killing him."

"But it's sinful!" She shot back, "Maybe he could have lived…"

"Maria -"

"HE SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT!" She finally exploded.

Maria did not realize until that moment just how bitter she was, how angry she was at Georg for leaving her. She collapsed on the nearby sofa and sobbed heart-wrenching cries. Sophie sat down next to her and tried to comfort her by rubbing and stroking her back.

Alex could only stand there and helplessly watch his closest friend's wife break down. It tore his heart to see Maria this way. No woman, especially one expecting a child, should have to go through this.

Maria eventually calmed down, and when she did, Alex sat down next to her and spoke again. "Maria" he started, choosing his words very carefully, "No matter what you hear, you need to know this. Zeller left him to die, and if he did not die that night in the villa, than Zeller's intention was to execute him the next day."

Alex was unsure of if he should continue, on the one hand, he did not want to cause Maria pain by knowing exactly what happened at the villa, and on the other, he did not want the memory of his friend vilified in her eyes. Between whether to tell her or not, he chose the former.

"Maria," he started. "They tortured him." He took her hands in his and squeezed them gently. "I wish I didn't have to tell you any of this, I wish you didn't have to know this, but you do. I made contacts with some people who were at the villa that night; they said…they said that they would have acted the same had they gone through what Geo... what Georg had." Looking into her eyes, he begged, "Please don't hate him, please try to forgive him."

* * *

The news of Georg von Trapp's death spread quickly and the outrage of the circumstances thereof spread like wildfire, therefore Max Detweiler had no doubt that word of it would reach Switzerland. That would mean that as Elsa had predicted, Maria and the children would believe Georg to be dead.

The thought that they would suffer unheeded pain troubled Max greatly, but he did not see another way. He reviewed the events at Aigien repeatedly in his mind and he concluded that as painful as it may be for Georg's loved ones, faking his death was the only way to get him to safety. Through his guilt, Max repeated to himself "_if no one knows he is alive than no one will look for him_" so often that it became his mantra.

Still, he did want to contact Maria and tell her the truth, and soon. However, privacy was no longer existent in the 'new' Austria, and therefore all means of communication were risky. He could not chance contacting her through telegram, letter, or phone. He would need to tell her in person, but that was the problem - it took time. Due to his friendship with Georg, Max was being watched closely, and thus he could not just get up and leave the country without triggering suspicion. He needed a reason, one that would seem plausible and not at all suspicious.

The opportunity finally came in February, a festival in Rome that would occur on Valentine's Day. Now, over two months after Georg's staged death, Max managed to finally make it to Switzerland. He had snuck out of Italy, and no one knew where he was, not Elsa, no one. It was with trepidation that he made it to Berne and to the unfamiliar house that the von Trapp family now called home. He wondered how Maria would take the news that Georg was alive. He did not doubt that she would be angry with him or even hate him for keeping such a secret for so long, but he hoped that she would understand that he acted in Georg's best interests and did not mean to hurt her or her children. He would hate to lose his friendship with Georg and his family, as he really did feel like an uncle to the children.

With a deep breath, he approached the stone house and knocked. As for how his news would be received, he was not one to speculate, after all only time would tell.

* * *

A/N: A big thank you to T-R-U for betaing this chapter.

The title is in reference to the "Five Stages of Grief"1 a person goes through when suffering any sort of trauma: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally Acceptance. This chapter dealt a little with Friedrich and Maria going through the five stages, later chapters will deal with Georg going through these stages as well.

Thanks for reading.

1 Kübler-Ross model


	9. The Ostrich

A/N: After a long hiatus from writing I'm back at it. I cannot promise more frequent updates but I do hope to have more chapters up soon rather than later.

Thank you to Emm for Betaing this chapter.

Enjoy!

* * *

**The Ostrich**

The first rays of sunshine filtered through the blinds in their hotel room. He was laying on his side, gazing with love at the woman slumbering beneath the covers. He longed to touch her, to hold her, to kiss her. She slept so peacefully. It was hard to imagine that a woman so full of life by day, could possibly be so quiet and settled. He had asked her how she is able to have so much energy and so much patience; she simply replied that she replenishes her energy with sleep. So although he longed to wake her, he settled for just looking at her. But it seemed that the intensity of Georg's gaze was enough to arouse Maria from her sleep.

"Hmm," she murmured sleepily.

"Did I wake you?" he asked.

"No" she replied with a voice still heavy with sleep. Her eyes began to close again as he tenderly touched her cheek and settled his hand behind her neck. With his other hand he brushed his fingers softly along her cheekbone and jaw, finally settling them beneath her chin. Maria opened her eyes and saw a small smile tugging on his lips. She loved seeing him smile like that- tender, soft, peaceful, happy. She had begun to learn the differences in his smiles. He can be sarcastic, mirthful, scornful, and condescending and still be smiling. But he could be happy, lovely, and utterly at peace with himself and smile as he was at the moment. The two expressions were the same and yet so different.

"I love seeing you smile," Maria said.

"Do you?"

"I truly do."

"Then if that makes you happy my dear, I will make it my business to do it often," he took her hand and made a show of gallantly kissing it. She giggled a response and playfully hit him on his arm.

"You're impossible," She lamented with a dramatic sigh.

"I know" he replied with grin, "that's why you love me" a playfully teased.

Maria mumbled something incoherent as she buried her head in his side. He settled down again and Maria snuggled even closer to him. Maria added so much joy to his life. Georg had forgotten how much he missed having someone to share his life with, someone to hold on to and someone to touch.

He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of her body close to him. Soon he too had fallen asleep.

He woke to a dark and cold room. It took him a few minutes for his mind to register that he was not in a hotel room and he was not with Maria. He was alone, in a small room in the attic of the Abbey. The early morning light filling his room was not the warm yellow of a summer morning in Paris, but rather a chilly light of a winter in Salzburg.

He shivered as he stumbled out of bed. He reached for a newspaper from a pile stacked in the corner of the room, and threw it into the fireplace. He watched the paper shrivel and burn before he stood and dressed. Each day he forced himself to dress, he forced himself to eat, he forced himself to function as best as he was able to, as best as he could in the prison he was in; a physical prison and a psychological prison, as he tried to shake off the depression which consumed him daily.

His view from the Abbey attic was breathtaking. The mountains lay before him covered in a blanket of white. He would admit that the view was picturesque and that the country he had served and loved was still beautiful. But that was in the past. The place he loved was dead to him and the beautiful winter picture before his was now confining and suffocating.

In many ways Georg was in prison, albeit not a literal prison but a prison nonetheless. There are prisons which consist of four stone walls-Georg knew that well having lived in one in for two months. But there are other places, and other things that can be considered one as well. For instance, a submarine can be considered a prison. It is a small vessel that one is confined to for long periods of time. As much as Georg loved the sea and his time in the navy, living in a submarine one does become claustrophobic. There were stretches of weeks that his submarine would only emerge from underwater at night, and it was during those times that all the men would clamber onto the deck for a breath of fresh air and a smoke.

So although Georg was not in a prison in the traditional sense, his small room in the Abbey felt as one. The window overlooking the mountains was his only contact with the outside world. For months he had not left the room, and although he would love to sprint over the Alps to Switzerland and see his family, the weather would not permit it. The winters in Austria were harsh and it would be suicidal to try and cross the Alps by foot in the height of winter. His only option was to wait for the spring. So he waited, alone, for the dark winter to end, with barely any contact with any humans. The only voices that he heard were the voices of nuns singing in prayer. Each morning food was left outside his door, and every so often, the Reverend Mother would hold a conversation with him in order to see how he was feeling and offer him words of comfort and strength.

She provided him with a bible to read, which he did not open. Perhaps she sensed his reservations with anything related to religion because she did not press with texts, but instead a newspaper appeared each morning with his food. The newspaper served two purposes, it saved him from the awful feelings of ennui and boredom, and it provided him with something useful to keep the fire burning in his room as coal had become too expensive. Georg found the latter use better than the former. The newspapers were obviously under control and the propaganda that they spewed angered Georg. He would admit it was nice to feel anger, as it was nice to feel anything besides the depression that consumed him day and night. With depression Georg felt numb, with anger he at least felt the blood carousing through his veins. Furthermore, tossing the newspaper into the fire did give him some odd type of gratification, and at the very least provided him with some warmth in his cold frosty prison.

However, there was one small article that Georg did keep folded carefully in his pocket.

His own obituary.

It was strange to read about his own death while alive. But in truth Georg did think of his death often. Since he was a young a boy, his father used to tell him, that he should live his life honorably and think about what others would say about him at his funeral. Would he be remembered as a brave and an upstanding individual? Or would he not be remembered at all?

For some reason his father's words-although quite morbid-stuck with him throughout his life, especially during his time in the navy. Even after the empire fell and he lost his commission, the thought that he would always be remembered as brave and heroic sustained him. Georg would be the first to admit his arrogance, but knowing that he would be remembered as a great sea captain stroked his ego. Of course they lost the war, but Austrians would always remember Georg's marvellous record as a captain. He would be remembered as a hero.

Or so he thought.

The obituary written about him was very small and meaningless. Georg knew that the government controlled the newspapers but it still stung him. He told himself that it was meaningless, that he should not care, but he did care. After all the years he served his country, to barely be acknowledged in his death? He scolded himself that he was being petty, but he did care. Much more than he would like to admit.

* * *

Spring finally arrived, and although the weather improved, Georg had to wait till the end April to begin his trek across the Alps. Nevertheless with the warming weather, the longer days, and the promise that he would soon see his family, Georg's spirit lifted. He was finally in good health. He spent last few weeks exercising his muscles and getting into some physical shape that would allow him to journey on foot. He lost a lot a of weight due to the starvation he endured in prison, and although he was given food at the Abbey, it was simple and did not provide him with the extra poundage to compensate for the weight he lost. His hair and beard were longer than ever and he did look quite haggard. The new gray hairs and wrinkles that appeared on his personage aged him drastically in his mind. Therefore, he doubted that anyone would recognize him looking the way he did as Captain von Trap.

Despite the torture that Georg suffered, there seemed to be no lasting physical effects on him, except for some faint scars that littered his body. The only part of his body that was significantly disfigured by the beatings his suffered was his back, where the scars were still very visible and very nasty looking. However he could not worry about that. He was always dressed properly with a tie and jacket so there was no issue-no one would know of their existence, therefore the would be no questions asked about how he received them. The only person who would have any chance of seeing him unclothed was Maria, and Georg decided that he would be very careful to hide his scars-particularly from her.

"What happened in the past will remain buried in the past," had become his mantra.

No one his life-especially Maria would ever know what he suffered and how he was humiliated. He would not allow it. Although the way he viewed himself had drastically changed, Georg needed Maria to see him the same way she did when they first married. The last six months not only took a physical toll on him, but an emotional, and a mental one. What happened to him in Salzburg was no secret-some of the most influential people of Austria witnessed his humiliation. But Salzburg and Austria were now part of a past that was dead to him, and Switzerland was a world away. Georg would not allow his young wife to see him any different- he would hide his suffering from her at all cost.

* * *

Thank you, for everything" Georg sincerely said to the Reverend Mother. "You saved my life."

"Your welcome my child."

It was night-time as Georg stood at the back of the abbey with the Reverend Mother, Sister Bertha and Sister Margarita. He was dressed warmly in many layers of clothing donated to the poor and he held a rucksack in his arms with food and water to last him over his journey.

After a final blessing and goodbye, Georg began his walk up the mountain. He was able to cover much more distance than when he had Maria and the children with him. Walking the path over the mountains again, Georg felt guilty again for having to put his family through the ordeal of walking over the Alps on foot. He hoped they had forgiven him, although he did not forgive himself. It was his job to provide for his family and he failed them miserably. Especially Maria- this was not the life he promised her.

* * *

"Can I help you?" A woman answered the door, which Georg assumed was a housekeeper.

"I'm here to see Alex Farbier."

"And who should I say is here?" She asked, suspiciously eyeing Georges clothing and haggard appearance.

"Tell him a friend from the navy."

The housekeeper looked sceptical, but allowed Georg entry and brought him to a sitting room off the hallway. "Please wait here," she instructed.

Georg heard the heavy footsteps of his friend and then an audible gasp. Alex' s face was pale and full of shock. He blinked furiously as if he could not believe his eyes. Was it a ghost he was looking at, or something real?

Georg and Alex slowly approached each other. A small smile tugged on Georg's lips from seeing the look of utter disbelief on his friend's face. Georg could not explain how it happened, but he started to nervously giggle, and before he could stop himself, he was laughing-as he had not laughed in years. It was always like that between the two friends. Since their days in the navy-even in the direst situations- privately, they always communicated through laughter.

"I don't believe it," Alex said as grabbed Georg into a fierce embrace. Georg's thin frame was dwarfed by Alex's large one. Tears started to form in Georg's eyes. After all these months alone, he was overwhelmed to see a friendly face and he was overcome with emotion, knowing he was finally safe.

"I don't believe it" Alex repeated, as he studied Georg with his hands still on his shoulders. Georg simply met his gaze, there was so much to say, but at the moment Georg could not manage to find the words. Alex-never a man of words-seemed to understand.

"A drink?" Alex simply suggested, "food, clothing, and some rest would do you good."

* * *

Georg sat across from Alex nursing his second shot of whisky- the first he drained in a way that would make any sailor proud. He ate, showered, shaved, he cut his hair with the aid of Alex's valet, and borrowed some of Alex clothing, which hung loosely on his thin frame.

After being thoroughly convinced by Alex that his family was well, the conversation lazily turned to other topics. Georg enjoyed conversing with Alex, it felt good to have someone to talk to. In Austria he felt that his voice would be lost from lack of use. Nevertheless, he didn't want to discuss what happened to him, he made a conscious effort to put the last six months in the back of his mind and he was thankful that Alex did not press him to talk about what happened in Salzburg. He always appreciated Alex thoughtfulness- he was supportive but he never pressed for details and never asked too many questions and Georg appreciated that quality in him now more than ever.

"I'm sorry for calling on you so late," Georg apologized again.

"You know it's never a problem Georg."

"Still, I'll be out of your way in the morning, I'll depart to Berne then."

"We'll go together, I'll drive you. I insist" Alex continued before Georg could argue.

"But your wife."

"Sophie won't mind, she'd insist as well."

"But she's pregnant, and she looks pretty far along. Trust me it isn't prudent for you to travel so far away for home at this time."

"The baby is not due for another month, a few days travel will do know harm," Alex replied warmly.

"By the way congratulations on becoming a father soon, I'm very happy for you," Georg said raising his glass to a toast.

"The same goes for you I should say," Alex replied.

"What do you mean?" Georg asked, confusion evident in his face.

"You are to become a father again." Georg visage instantly changed upon hearing Alex's words. His face instantly paled. His cheery eyes darkened, and he looked if possible even angry. Alex was alarmed at Georg's sudden mood change. "I didn't anticipate breaking the news to you, I assumed you knew," Alex stuttered. "Maria's pregnant. The baby is due in June."

"Pregnant?" Georg whispered.

"Yes, why do you look so upset?" Alex nervously asked.

Georg simply let out an exasperated sigh and ran his hand through his hair.

"Georg?"

"Georg" Alex repeated, "Why do you look so upset?"

Georg banged his fist on the table in anger as he cursed under his breath. "It's bad enough that I dragged my wife and seven children across the Alps, now I find out that I dragged my _pregnant_ wife and seven children across the Alps!"

"Georg, it's fine, she's fine."

"It's not fine!" Georg exploded. "She should have been home resting with doctors that I know, doctors who can take of her. She should have had every one of her needs tended to. She should have been eagerly expecting her baby with no worries, not following a fool of a husband and having to fend for herself for the last six months." He angrily rose from his chair and paced the room.

"She's a strong woman, the children are all helping," Alex tried to reason.

"That not the point," Georg bitterly replied. And suddenly a floodgate of guilty feelings spilled through before Georg was able to stop himself from talking about them. "I am such a fool,' he said as he dropped his head.

"You did what you had to do."

"What was I thinking?" Georg uttered with such frustration and remorse. "I could have planned it differently, taken more precautions, I could have sent the children to England to stay with Agathe's parents while on my honeymoon. I could have had them meet us in France. I could have claimed that the family needed time to get accustomed to their new mother. From France I could have fled to England, America, anywhere. Instead I did nothing, hoping against hope, against any rationale that the politicians of Austria would have pride and be patriotic enough not to succumb to the pressures of the Anschluss. That the people I knew, the people that I fought along with, still shared the same love I had for the country, for the empire, for the past," he continued with a whisper. "The threat was always there. It was obvious they were going to ask me to serve. It was clear to everyone that the Anschluss was to happen soon, obvious to everyone but me. Not because I didn't see it happening, and not because I didn't hear it, but because I refused to see and I refused to hear. I buried my head in the sand,_ I was the ostrich_."

Geog felt a weariness overcome him as he sat down. Perhaps it was from the travel, but Georg knew better. It was a weariness that plagues those who suffer great emotional turmoil. "What can you do about it now?" Alex rationally pointed out, "what was is in the past, you can't change what happened, move forward."

"I changed, I went from a rational human being to one caught up in a world that isn't real."

"I don't understand."

"I was happy."

"You speak of it as if that is a bad thing," Alex scoffed.

"All last summer I lived in a world full of music, mountains, picnics, love- I failed to see the world like I should have. I failed to see reality outside my own world."

"So you're angry with her," Alex shrewdly pointed out.

"What?"

"You wife."

"Maria, never."

"She made you happy and for some insane reason you blame that happiness with skewing with your decisions, so essentially you're blaming her for all you suffered."

"I don't blame her for anything," Georg replied defensively.

"Good because that's a dangerous path to enter." Alex advised. "And I would suggest you stop blaming yourself for your problems. What happened, happened because it was meant to, you couldn't have necessarily prevented it. As for yourself, one day you are going to have to forgive yourself and move on from the past. For a man who has made few mistakes in his life that may be difficult, but you must come to accept that you are fallible like every other man. You family has forgiven you, now you just have to forgive yourself."

"I don't know if I ever can," Georg quietly admitted.

"In time you will."

Alex rose from he seat a placed a comforting hand on Georg's shoulder. "It is late and we have a busy day of traveling ahead of us, go get some rest. Your family awaits your arrival."


	10. Reunion

Reunion

Georg and Alex woke early the next day. They traveled throughout the day by car stopping only to eat. At night they stayed over in an inn and left immediately after breakfast. By noon they reached Berne.

Berne was the forth-largest city in Switzerland. Georg had originally chosen to purchase a house there specifically for its size. In a place as populated as Berne, his family could blend in nicely. Geographically it was different from Salzburg. Berne was a city surrounded by a river, which gave it a natural border. The buildings in the centre of town were closely situated, and as the city grew, many bridges were built to connect the center of the city with the outskirts of town. As they passed through the city Georg could not help but admit that the city was charming. Having visited many countries throughout his life, he was able to appreciate beauty when he saw it. Berne was a nice city.

They crossed over a bridge and entered the outskirts of the city, where the houses were spacious. Within a few short minutes, Alex stopped before a plain looking brick house.

"Here it is."

Georg merely nodded. His heart thumped so nervously in his chest he thought it might burst. What words could be used to describe how he felt, nervous, excited, anxious, relieved. The children he assumed would be in school, but somewhere beyond the brick walls Maria waited.

As the two exited the car, Georg's whole body shook. Alex knocked and placed a calming hand on his friend's shoulder and smiled.

A pleasant looking elderly woman who reminded Georg of Frau Schmidt opened the door.

"Herr Farbier, welcome." Frau Rast turned to Georg "Sir welcome."

"Where is the Baroness?" Alex asked.

"In the gardens."

"The children, I presume are still in school."

"Yes Herr Farbier."

"Thank you."

As Georg was led through the house, he only slightly took in his surroundings. He could only think of Maria. The house was big, but nowhere as big as his villa. Still the walk through it to the back seemed like an eternity.

She was sitting on a chair with her back to him covered in a shawl to protect against the spring chill. But even among the bushes and flowers, there was no denying that the blond hair shimmering in the afternoon sunlight belonged to Maria. Georg started towards her, but was quickly stopped by Alex.

With his eyes Alex reminded him to stop. Georg waited months to see his wife; he could wait a few more minutes.

On the way to Berne, the two discussed the best way to break the news to Maria. After all discovering that your thought to be dead husband is still alive is emotionally jarring. Maria was after all pregnant, and in a fragile state. Alex did not know if Maria knew that Georg was alive, he assumed she did not and thus reckoned that Georg's sudden presence would come as a tremendous shock. And as Alex reminded Georg numerous times "you almost gave me a bloody heart attack" when he saw him.

It was decided that Alex would gently break the news to Maria. Georg agreed in the car, but with Maria a few feet away from him he was ready to knock Alex aside and run towards her. The weight in his heart was excruciatingly painful as he watched Alex speak to Maria from afar.

She quickly rose from her chair and turned. Her hands went instantly to her pale face. Their eyes locked. Georg's electric eyes penetrated hers with such an intensity that she felt her legs buckle from under her. In an instant he was at her side as she collapsed against his chest. His embrace muffled Maria's sobbing and her tears, which rolled down her cheeks soaking his jacket. It was just as she remembered, the safe feeling she had by just being in his arms resting her head beneath his chin.

Georg clung to Maria for dear life for fear that she would disappear if he dared to let go. His lips desperately searched for Maria's, he needed her like a starved man needs bread. Never had he kissed a woman with such hunger. His lips traveled to her cheeks, as he tasted her tears. He dared to open his eyes and saw that the woman before him with a tear stained face was real, that the body pressed against him was not an apparition and not a dream, but his wife in the flesh.

They stood together, holding each other, not talking-just crying, as Alex discreetly made his exit. There was so much she wanted to tell him-her worries, her fears, and her pain. But at the moment all she did was hold on to him. She knew that Georg was her anchor, and without him she would float away. He continued to kiss her again and again. He said nothing, he could not talk; everything he wanted and needed to say he said with his lips.

"Georg" She choked his name. "Georg," she repeated over and over again as he kissed her. She had to say it aloud to make herself believe that the kisses she felt on her face, neck and lips were real, that the arms holding her were not a dream. She suddenly felt dizzy and light-headed, cold and yet hot. Her whole body shook and her legs were unsteady. Georg carefully guided her to a chair where he bent on one knee and took her shaking hands into his and tenderly kissed them. Her beautiful face was so pale beneath her red tear stained cheeks that for a moment Georg was concerned that she would faint. He continued to hold her hands as she calmed down. Instinctively her hands went to her abdomen. Undoubtedly the child inside was aware off the tumulus emotions its mother was feeling-Maria was sure it did. Ever since she began to feel the baby move it seemed to respond to her emotions by kicking and squirming inside.

"It does that all the time" she said half laughing, half crying.

She guided his hand to her abdomen where Georg was able to feel the life created from their love- growing, moving, and living. A life that he was unaware that existed for six months. He seemed transfixed by it, as though he had not been a father seven times already.

Maria furiously blinked away her tears that were blinding her. The look on her husbands face said so much. So many emotions were present there-love, happiness, uncertainty, remorse, even sorrow. With her hand she gently stroked his cheek, he looked the same yet different-older. He was as handsome as she remembered; yet there was something beneath the surface of his eyes that she could not place. His face was the same, but thinner and more haggard. The hairs around his temple were greyer; there were new wrinkles around his eyes.

Still on his knees, Georg placed his face in front of Maria's stomach and kissed it and his growing child inside. With his voice thick with emotion he finally spoke, "hello little one" he said, I'm your papa."

* * *

A/N The reunion was written in to two parts because the original ballooned into a very long winding and complicated chapter. I wanted to get something posted so I divided the chapter. I hope this one was satisfying and I do promise more.

Thank to everyone who has continued reading this story. Your words and encouragement inspired me to keep on going. It does not end with Georg uniting with his family. There is still so much more to explore.

Thanks to Emm for Betaing this chapter.


	11. Time

A/N This chapter is a continuation of the previous chapter. I'm sorry it took me so long to update. Thanks to Emm for Betaing this chapter.

* * *

Time

Some how Maria and Georg let each other go. Although they were both in a fog state, they managed to rise to their feet and enter the house. Holding Georg's hand, Maria led him through the house and showed him each and every room, ending with the master bedroom. She spoke very quickly and seemed very nervous. She knew the reason for her sudden agitation was the fear that Georg would disapprove of the way she handled things in his absence. When they had gotten married she came into a home that was already decorated and routines established. True, her presence in the von Trapp home altered some of the rigid rules that household was accustomed to, but many things still remained the same.

Georg liked routine and he liked his possessions and the children possessions to remain neat and clean. This was ingrained in him from the years spent in the navy, but it was part of his personality as well. He strived for order and whenever things became difficult he held on to that order for dear life. During their engagement, Georg first confided in Maria about this very fact of his personality. Maria teased him that it was not a revelation at all, and that "this quirk in your personality is endearing but very obvious". But this quirk of Georg's, as Maria called it, revealed a great deal about him and it led to him confiding in Maria of the two times in his life that order and stability fell apart; the days following the end of war and Agathe's death.

The last days of war were brutal and chaotic. Georg led a submarine of men from many different nationalities. When the empire fell, each nationality tried to capture its stake and gain independence. Thus suspicion and deceit were rampant among all the soldiers. Georg, who generally had no difficulty controlling his men, found himself exerting more energy in keeping peace among his men than he had at any other time in the war. When he finally lowered the Austro-Hungarian flag and gave over his submarine to the Yugoslavian soldiers, he gathered his meager belongings and headed home. Georg described to Maria the scene as chaotic. Suspicion and frustration was so great that the journey home from the sea to the mountains became treacherous. Georg feared for his life more on the train ride home to Salzburg than during combat. He did not know whom he could trust. He did not know if someone would assault him for being officer, or rob him in order to pawn his possessions for some rum and whiskey. By the time he arrived home he was simply exhausted and emotionally drained that for days all he did was sleep. The war had drained him of all his energy and it took him a long time to emotionally accept his defeat.

Over time he was able to fit into a new routine, a domestic one that was vastly different to what he was used to. It was difficult to adjust, but overtime with Agathe at his side, he began to get used to his role as an only a husband and father and he began to relish it. Kurt was born the very end of the war; unfortunately Georg had missed his birth. But soon Brigitta, Marta, and Gretl followed and his time was filled with his children and his wife.

Agathe's illness and her death shattered his reality, and thrust him into a whirlwind of chaos that he could not master nor manage. While Georg buried his emotions and retreated inwards as was his habit, his children displayed outward symptoms of grief as children do. While Maria understood why Georg acted the way he did towards his children, Georg needed her to understand that he did not mean to be cruel, but he simply had no other way to cope. The breaking point between him and his children occurred about six months after Agathe's death.

For six months Georg had endured the sympathetic words and the looks of pity that others gave him. "Seven young children," they would sigh and shake their heads.

For six months he endured the sleepless nights with his children.

For six months he endured their inconsolable cries that he could not sooth although he tried.

For six months he endured his own feelings of inadequacy as a parent.

For six months he endured letters home from his children's teachers that homework was not done, and his children where falling behind academically.

For six months he endured the calls from the headmaster to come to school because one of his children –usually Friedrich or Louisa- misbehaved.

He endured all of it alone and tried to parent and deal with these problems, as Agathe would have; for during her lifetime the children never misbehaved and always did well in school. But it was only after over hearing two couples gossiping about him did Georg realize that he could not parent as Agathe did because he was not Agathe. He would have to do the best he could by himself.

Georg had some business in town to conduct and overhead his name spoken by a group of people eating in an outdoor café. He presence was obscured thus the gossipers could not see him, nor could Georg see them. However he did hear their words and they stung. And some of them he remembered them well.

"_It amazes me that a man who can command a submarine cannot seem to control his own children."_

"_Children are not sailors, being good at one does not make you good at other."_

"_There is a certain touch that a mother has, but still I would think that discipline begins_ _with the father."_

"_It is simply flabbergasting that a man known for running a tight ship can't seem to control his own brood"._

"_It is such a pity, seven children with no mother, don't they have a governess?"_

"_I can't imagine Agathe allowing such a thing, G-d bless her soul she was a very good mother to her children. I can't imagine Agathe allowing anyone but herself to raise her children."_

"_But why not now? The Captain is obviously not managing it alone."_

"_He'll find someone to marry soon, a man like that would not remain single long."_

"_True true, happily married women practically swoon at the sight of him_"

At that point Georg could hear no more. That night, life in the von Trapp family changed. Georg did what he does best in a crisis. He became a Captain once more and his children were the vessel he vowed to steer. The next day, the first of twelve governesses was hired.

* * *

Lost in his thoughts Georg sat on the edge of the bed in the master bedroom. It was a spacious and sunny room with sky blue wallpaper and furniture in blue and green tones.

"The children will be home soon," Maria said, as she took Georg hand, which guided her to sit next to him. He hooked his left arm around her shoulder and with his right he massaged her bulging belly. Maria relished in the attention and having him so close to her. Everything seemed so surreal with having Georg suddenly appear after months of heartache and months of worry.

"Are you okay?" Maria asked.

"Yes" Georg replied as he lay down in bed and stretched. "Just tired," he said with half a smile.

Maria leaned over him and stroked his hair. "I missed you," she said softly, as her lips gently stroked his

"I know," he raised his hand and cupped Maria's chin "I'm sorry I put you through all this."

Maria gave him a puzzled look "What do you mean?"

Georg sighed. "Everything that happened, you and the children suffered so much."

"We didn't suffer," Georg skeptically raised his eyebrows. "It was hard at times," Maria admitted, but we managed and you're here now. Everything will be okay now," Maria insisted.

Georg sat up again; he seemed agitated that Maria pretended as if her life had not been difficult these last few months. He loved her positive attitude, but even she must be a realist at times.

He rubbed his eyes "How are the children?" He wearily asked.

"Fine."

"Maria, please" he said softly. "Tell me how they are, don't try to protect me, I know what I put them through, what I put you through." Georg's eyes gave every indication that he wanted the truth and that he was ready for whatever his wife told him. Maria wanted to desperately lie to him. To tell him that the last six months were fine, but the children were not fine. Nothing was okay while he was gone. She knew she could not lie to him and he would press her for every detail, but she also knew that Georg would punish himself for what occurred.

Georg took Maria's hand in his. "Tell me, everything," he implored. His eyes begged for the truth.

She looked at the intertwined hands.

"Liesl has been helping so much. She really is a remarkable young lady. She's been helping with everyone and everything, with things around the house and the children. She keeps them busy so I could rest; she helps them with their studies. She doesn't really talk about what happened. I tried talking to her but she closed up. There are boys who are interested in her but she has no interest in them. What happened with Rolfe really affected her. I think she blames herself, I think she feels that her relationship with that boy was a mistake and that it put the whole family in danger and that that is why you were caught. We were so close to the boarder and had we'd been able to sneak out of the abbey undetected… we might have been able to all make it together. Liesl knows this and the older children know this too, she blames herself and she senses that they blame her too."

Georg stomach tightened at the thought of what his sixteen and now seventeen-year-old daughter is going through. "I'll speak to her and the others too. She shouldn't blame herself," he firmly said "it is my fault and mine alone."

"But," Maria started.

"It is all my fault," he said firmly. "I made the decisions and I had to live with the consequences, unfortunately so did you, and so did the children. You all suffered because of my bad choices."

"Georg," she argued.

"Tell me about the others" Georg interjected. "What about them?" he said before Maria could begin to argue what he felt. Maria bit her lip and continued.

"The little ones are okay. They've had nightmares and Marta was very scared, but she always was very sensitive. Gretl had been taking it better than the rest. They both needed a lot of attention and love and with it they were okay."

"School had been a big help in helping the little ones cope, especially Brigitta who escaped to her books. She found solace in them."

"Kurt found comfort with food, but you know how he loves to eat. He and Louisa were the most mischievous, oh, but not with me" she quickly added as she saw the look of alarm on Georg face "it was more in school."

Georg sighed and shook his head. "When Agathe died the children became terrible in school, I could not even count the number of times I had to come down to speak to the headmaster about Friedrich and Louisa."

"Yes, well Louisa and Kurt do fight more. He seemed to have replaced Friedrich in that role."

She had saved Friedrich for last, partly because he had been the most difficult. He meant well but he was not a man yet, and partly because she was sure Georg would disapprove Friedrich leaving school to go to work.

"Friedrich has been affected by what happened the most, he also blames himself."

"He shouldn't."

"I know, but he thinks he could have done something. He acts like a man, he takes care of everyone-he has been great with Marta, but he doesn't let anyone take care of him. I've tried talking to him, so has Liesl. He left school to go to work. He felt it was the right thing to do. He feels that there needs to be a steady flow of income, especially with a baby on the way. He took a job in a bakery. He is doing well, the baker and his wife treat him well, they send home a loaf of bread each night and on Sundays they give us a cake."

She held her breath as she tried to read his reaction. When he did not speak right away she quickly spoke. "Are you mad? I know how much you value a good education. But I didn't have the energy to argue with him, and he really had his heart set on working."

"I'm not mad, I'm actually proud of him." Georg said with smile. "He never liked school; I'm glad to see that he has foresight. But once things settle down I think I'd like him to finish school."

"They'll never forgive me!" Maria suddenly said. The vehemence in her voice startled Georg and with his eyes he questioned Maria. "I never told them you were alive. I didn't know what to do, what to tell so I told them nothing. They still think you're dead; I lied to them all this time," she cried. "From December till February I thought you were dead, till Max told me you weren't. He didn't tell me much, he just told me that you were injured and that you were in the abbey. I thought if I told the children it would make things worse. What if you didn't come back? It would just make everything worse; they would have to grieve again. I just didn't know what to do, so at the end Max and I decided to say nothing. I was so scared. I was scared that if I said something Friedrich would go after you. He has grown up so much, he really has, but he's still a child and I was afraid that if I said something he would try to find you. I couldn't risk losing him too."

The tears fell furiously from Maria's eyes as she verbalized the anxieties she faced. Georg gathered her in her arms and help her as tight he dared too. It felt so good to have him there to talk to, to have someone to listen to her worries. "Did I do the right thing?" she whispered into his chest.

The lump in Georg's throat made it difficult to speak, and when he did speak he did not recognize his own voice. "Yes you did, you acted just as I would have," he spoke into her hair, "I'm so sorry I put you through all this. I truly am, you had so much to deal with," verbalizing the guilt that had been gnawing at him for last few months. "I'm so sorry, so so sorry," he repeated again and again.

She moved back from his embrace and with her fingers she smoothed back his hair behind his ears.

"They hurt you." It was a statement not a question. Georg nodded slightly. That was all he would admit.

"Are you okay?" She whispered.

Georg nodded again. "What else did Max tell you?" Maria was surprised by the question and caution in Georg eyes when he asked it, but she answered truthfully. "Not much, he said you were hurt and that you were recovering in the abbey. He didn't want to talk about it. Whenever I pressed him for detail, he said that you would talk about when you come home."

She studied his face, which betrayed his relief that Max did not reveal his ordeal to Maria.

"What happened to you really?" Maria asked cautiously.

Maria watched the hesitation in Georg face and for a moment Georg was tempted to tell her everything, but before he could reply they heard the voices of the children downstairs.

* * *

Georg followed Maria as she walked down the steps to great the children.

"Mother," they greeted her enthusiastically. Georg appeared by the door to the family room. Brigitta was the first to notice him. She instantly paled and covered her mouth with her hands to stifle a scream. The others turned to the door. The children looked at him with disbelief and Maria had a feeling of déjà vu as Georg approached the children.

With a few long strides Georg reached his shell-shocked children. They all ran to him, the older children showed some restraint while the younger ones smothered their father. He hugged each and every one of them.

He relished the moment to the fullest. How foolish of him not to appreciate every moment he had with them. Georg had taken them for granted till he thought he lost them. Throughout the last seventeen years they had been the one constant in his life. When he lost his commission, they were still there. When he lost his wife, they were still there. When he lost his country, they were still there. They were an extension of him, and when he is gone they will continue on his name and legacy. As Georg hugged his children he promised to himself that he would never lose sight of the gift that they are, and he vowed to bring them to a place were they are safe. In his mind there was no higher priority than the safety and happiness of his wife and children.

He hugged them again and again. Except for Friedrich who did not rush to his father, rather he stood and watched his siblings hug and kiss the man he idolized and tried hard to emulate. He stood at the side till his father approached him. Friedrich smiled meekly and held out his hand; Georg took it and pulled him into a tight embrace. Friedrich could not remember the last time his father had hugged him. As he buried his head in his father's shoulder he closed his eyes to block the burning and stinging sensation that were the tears he tried in vain to hold back. Georg smoothed his sons soft hair "I'm so proud of you" he whispered into his ear. He held him till a felt a small hand tug at his pants leg. Georg looked down and saw Gretl wearing a stern and serious expression including a pout and her fist by her side.

"Don't ever leave again!" She exclaimed. Georg gave a jubilant chuckle as he picked her up and hugged her tight.

"I won't Gretl, I won't," he promised.

Georg relished the moment with his family to its fullest till a jovial voice-which many times annoyed him-interrupted the reunion.

"Well, well-look who decided to finally show up!" said Max twirling his mustache and grinning widely.

For a moment Georg let go of his children and approached his friend, confidant, and the man who saved his life. As the two old friends shook hand Georg said with seriously and sincerely, "I'm forever indebted to you Max."

"Good, that's the way I like you," was Max's witty reply.


	12. Tension

**Tension**

_The cellar was cold and dark as five men took him downstairs; five men seemed to be a lot of resources to waste on one man. He was shoved roughly forward through the door. He managed to keep his balance till someone grabbed him from behind and threw him to the hard cold floor. Georg landed on his side hard and before he could attempt to rise, a hard fist connected with his eye. He was blinded by it, and another blow hit his body. Five men against one handcuffed man punching, kicking, jeering and laughing. A moment of reprieve between blows was filled with disparaging remarks about him or his family. The beating momentarily stopped and Georg was sprawled on the dirty floor gasping for air. Suddenly two burly soldiers lifted him by the arms and held him upright. "Rolfe" they called. "Here is your chance to prove to us what you've learned." Through his swollen eyes, Georg could see the blond hair and blue-eyed boy. His face was no longer hesitant and scared, as it was in the abbey, but cold and emotionless. A chill ran up Georg's spine as he looked at the boy. His face was stone like and so were his fists._

"_They taught him well" was the last conscious thought he had._

Georg woke with a start. He sat upright so quickly that his head spun. It took him a few minutes to register that he was not in Zeller's captivity but in his bed in Berne. It is only a dream, he thought as the dizziness subsided. A nightmare, but it was one he lived through. His mouth felt dry and he felt an instinctive need to flee. Although cognitively he knew he was safe, his tortured mind refused to grant him peace.

"Georg?"

The bed sheets rustled as Maria rolled over to turn on her bedside light. She squinted as her eyes adjusted to the sudden light.

"Are you okay?" She anxiously asked.

"I'm fine."

"You're sweating," Maria said as she reached to smooth his damp hair.

He flinched at her touch "I'm fine!" he snapped. Georg instantly saw Maria's face fall with hurt. "I'm fine," he said again, this time gently. "It was just a bad dream."

Georg rose from bed and entered the bathroom that was attached to their room. Maria heard the water momentary running before Georg emerged. He entered their bed and kissed her lightly on the cheek. "I'm sorry for yelling at you," he apologized.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No" he replied dismissively as he lay down. "I'm sorry I woke you."

Maria swallowed the words she wanted to say and instead reached for the lights. Once more the room was dark. She lay down very close to him, as he feigned sleep. With one ear on his chest she could hear his heart beating wildly.

Something was wrong.

* * *

Something was wrong between them.

Something has been wrong between them for the last few weeks.

Last night they fought, again.

Other women warned her that marriage is difficult, that marriage is a relationship that needs to be nurtured and cultivated like a delicate flower. Maria herself knew that there were would be times that she and Georg would fight. Their personalities dictated such outcomes. Yet she thought the inevitable fight would come sometime down the road and when it did, they would deal with it well.

All through their engagement they were on such good terms. In truth, since the day Georg and Maria argued by the lake on the day he returned from Vienna, they did not clash. Maria would be the first to admit that she is hot-tempered, out spoken, and at times rude. And Georg can be a stubborn brute often, but he can also be sweet, kind, and even-tempered when he puts his mind to it. He had been so throughout their engagement, their honeymoon, and the first few weeks of their reunion. But the last few weeks they have been at each other throats. Something was not right with Georg. Maria knew that, but whenever she tried to ask him how he was feeling, he would say that he is fine. He was lying. She could tell he was and it hurt so much when he distanced himself from her and from the children.

At first it was so wonderful to have him back. She needed him close at all times and Maria so enjoyed having him back in her life that she failed to notice that Georg was physically with her, but emotionally distant.

There first fight occurred when Maria became concerned that Georg was not sleeping. Maria was a deep sleeper and if she was not pregnant, she probably would not have noticed that Georg had trouble sleeping. Their growing child had made sleep elusive. It seemed that the unborn baby would wait precisely for the moment that Maria would drift to sleep before beginning to kick and roll in her stomach. And even when Maria was not subjugated to an onslaught of movement from her very active child, the sheer weight on her back made her achy and uncomfortable. As other woman informed her, an expectant mother in her third trimester not being able to sleep, is a way that the body prepares for the actual sleepless nights of motherhood.

Thus, Maria was often awake and observing that Georg did not sleep. And when he was asleep, it was fitful. When she first asked Georg about it he dismissed her concerns. However, Maria was persistent in finding the cause of his insomnia, which irritated Georg to a point that he had yelled at her.

Maria started to cry and Georg, feeling like the worst husband in the world, apologized profusely. The cycle continued. Maria would ask about it, Georg would verbally lash at her, Maria would cry, and Georg would beg for forgiveness. It caused for a miserable wife and irritable husband.

Maria always knew that Georg could be moody, but he was so often irritable and sad with her and the children. He tried hard to hide his feelings. He smiled a lot and engaged with the children, but his eyes had no sparkle, and smile seemed forced rather than genuine. He seemed happy to be home, but he was also sad. He was different.

But what killed Maria the most was how closed up Georg had become. He would not tell her what happened to him during the six months he was away. When ever she asked he simply said, "It's in the past and I won't dwell on it."

It was more than that though; he was not only closed emotionally but also physically. Maria was at first puzzled by it. At first, she was insulted and hurt by Georg's lack of interest in intimacy. She thought that he was un-attracted to her pregnant body. Georg said that he was concerned for the baby. He felt that Maria went through so much stress and he was scared that he might hurt her or the baby if they were together. Maria believed him and for a few weeks accepted what he had said. She was, after all, in the third term of pregnancy and they could not risk her going into labor early.

When she finally knew the truth it hurt her more than anything she thought possible.

The night was pleasant and Georg was in a good mood. The children were asleep and Maria and Georg retired early to bed. They lay next to each other, Maria was on her side and Georg massaged her arms with soft soothing motions.

"How do you feel? Georg asked.

"Like a whale."

"Like a whale?" Laughed Georg with his deep rich voice.

"Well look at me," Maria giggled, "I'm huge!"

"Maria, I've seen a whale, trust me you are far from it."

"You have? Where?"

"In the Pacific Ocean, off the coast of China."

"China?" She put her hand on her head and gave him her adorable exasperated look and waited for him to continue.

"I was very young, and before I started working on submarines. I was on deck and suddenly this enormous creature swam alongside the ship. It was majestic, enormous and so powerful. I only saw it for a few minutes but it was something."

He smiled at the memory. It was a genuine smile; Maria loved seeing him that way.

She snaked her hand under his nightshirt. "You're so warm," she purred.

Georg's eyes closed at Maria's touch, her hand on his chest caused explosive reactions in his body. He missed her; his body ached for her and her soft caresses slowly tortured him.

"I want you Georg."

His eyes snapped open at the boldness of her statement. Her eyes were dark with passion. Georg closed the lights and in an instant he was by Maria side. As he pressed his lips to hers the thoughts of his scars and the need to hide them from Maria left his mind. He could not refuse her anymore.

* * *

It was morning when Maria woke, they had forgotten to draw the shades the night before and the early summer light woke Maria long before she would have woken had the room been dark. Had the room been dark, she probably would have not seen that scars that were visible on her husbands back. When the surprise of seeing them had subsided, her feelings of shock were replaced by anger and hurt, feelings that she let her husband know. It had amounted to the worst argument that they ever had. Georg's reaction disturbed her greatly as he clumsily fumbled with his nightshirt trying to hide his shame. Months of suppressed emotions within Maria were unleashed on Georg who for once, was helpless, speechless, and had nothing to say.

His worst fear had come true. Georg knew Maria so well and he foresaw that she would react this way to his scars, thus he hid them from her. She was repulsed, he thought, by them and by him.

In her anger, Maria said thing she did not mean to say, but she said them and her words cut Georg as deeply as the whipping he received from Herr Zeller. He said nothing, but took in every word she said. She screamed at him and accused him of lying to her. She said words that were hurtful but true. Georg remained quiet as she verbally assaulted him. Like venom, her anger and her hurt seeped through every one of her words. His silence only fueled her anger more.

"For goodness sake say something!" she yelled.

"I think enough has been said," Georg finally replied with a shaking voice full of hurt. For the first time, his wife clearly saw the pain that was etched on his face. The pain that he hid beneath the surface and Maria realized that it was she who caused him to feel this way. Regret quickly filled her mind, but before she could utter another word, Georg had already fled the room.

The damage was done.

* * *

Georg managed to avoid Maria the whole day by locking himself in his study. He avoided everyone including the children. However, by the afternoon, Georg knew he was not being fair to them, so for his children sake he left the safety of his study to join the family. Georg followed the sounds of laughter to the garden. Unnoticed, he observed the family. The boys were playing ball with Louisa; Marta and Gretl were playing with dolls; while Liesl and Brigitta were reading. Maria was sitting down at the terrace table with a pitcher of lemonade beside her. She shifted suddenly in her seat and brought her hands together to rest on her abdomen.

With a newspaper in his hand, and his feelings still hurt, Georg walked to where she sat. He sat down, poured himself a glass of lemonade and began reading his paper, without acknowledging Maria's presence.

Maria felt awful for what she said earlier, but how could she apologize to Georg while his head was hidden behind newspaper. She shifted again in her seat, and once again brought her hand to rest on her abdomen. She was very uncomfortable and the ache in her back was driving her mad. In addition, her current guilt and her earlier display of anger seemed not to only affect Georg, but the baby inside her as well. She felt her insides being assaulted by what she mistakenly thought were an array of kicks.

Out of the corner of his eye, Georg saw his wife wince again. "Are you feeling okay?" he asked trying to keep his voice as causal as possible.

"I'm fine, it's just an ache."

The children where laughing and talking loudly only a few feet away, but there were a tense silence between them.

Georg resumed reading his paper but his brain did not comprehend the words he saw, as he noticed once again Maria visibly wince.

His anger towards her was gone and concern clouded his mind "shall I call the doctor?" Georg asked starting to get anxious.

"No, it's nothing really" Maria replied, "The baby is not due for another three weeks-

The words barely left her mouth when she felt a sharp pain radiating from her side. Georg instantly jumped from his seat as Maria's face paled. "I'm taking you inside, now!" his tone of voice conveyed that there was no room for discussion. He wrapped his arm around her and led her into the house.

The children noticed their parents' sudden disappearance and quickly caught up to Maria and Georg who were slowly climbing the stair to their bedroom.

"Liesl," Georg said sharply, call Frau Rast and boil a pot of water.

"Children, sit in the parlor and read. Stay out of trouble, Friedrich you're in charge," Georg instructed.

Once Maria was settled upstairs, Georg left to call the doctor while Frau Rast helped Maria change into a nightgown.

Frau Rast had left to fetch more towels and Maria was alone in the quiet room.

Fear and anxiety filled Maria as she sat in a semi-upright position. Yet she also felt excited that the moment of birth had finally arrived. She was still mad at Georg for keeping what happened to him to a secret, in addition to the guilt feelings she had for hurting him.

But most of all she was upset of what has become of their relationship and she was offended by Georg cold and businesslike approach to the whole situation. Overwhelmed by her conflicting emotions, Maria was unable to control her tears any longer as she began to bitterly cry.

* * *

As Georg entered the room, Maria hastily tried to wipe away her tears. In every situation she felt she needed to be strong and brave. Georg was alarmed by her state and quickly knelt by his wife.

"What is it Maria, why are you crying?" He asked as he gently wiped away tears from her face.

Maria couldn't answer as another contraction came and when it passed her reply came in the form of a hiccup.

"What is wrong, are you in a lot of pain?" Maria shook her head, "then what is it darling please don't cry, I can't bear to see it," he pleaded.

"Georg" she gasped, as she grabbed his arm. After the contraction passed she regained her breath. She looked into his blue eyes; there was no anger there, just love and concern for her. "I'm sorry," she sobbed, "I said such dreadful things to you." Maria admitted the real reason behind her crying.

Georg gently smiled. "There is nothing you should apologize for, you were angry and I should know better than to take anything a pregnant woman says to heart."

"I love you Georg," Maria sobbed.

"I love you too darling."

"Stay with me" she pleaded, "I'm so scared."

"I promise, I will."

She looked so small and scared, so young. Although it was not considered appropriate for a husband to be present during labor, Georg knew that there was no way he could abandon Maria. He did not care how much the doctor would disapprove; he was not leaving his wife side. "I'm here" his breath caught in his throat as he uttered those words. He never witnessed the birth of his other children. And a few months ago neither Georg nor Maria believed it possible that he would be there witnessing the birth of their first child together.

By nightfall the newest member of the von Trapp family entered the world. He was small, but he and his mother were otherwise in good health. He was named Georg Maximilian, after his father thought to be forever lost, and the man that saved his father's life. His proud parents and brothers called him Maxim, but his sisters preferred Little Max so to not confuse him with their favorite uncle.

* * *

A/N Thank you to Emm for Betaing this chapter.

Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed this story, your support has helped me keep going, there is about four more chapters to go!


	13. The Anniversary

**The Anniversary**

Liesl breathed the fresh air. Summer was quickly turning to fall. The weather was becoming just a bit cooler but the trees were still green and luscious. Although it was different than Austria, Switzerland was a very beautiful place. She was outside under oak tree with Maxim. The two month old was lying on his back watching the clouds floating above. Liesl was very fond of her baby brother. His birth over two months ago had provided her with something to make the long days of summer seem shorter.

There was some other reason she felt a stronger bond with her youngest sibling, one she could not explain. Perhaps it was because he provided for her an escape from her thoughts, feelings, and regrets. Perhaps he was too young to judge her, too young to blame her, and too innocent to know the hurt she was feeling inside. But most of all Maxim seemed to have lightened in the mood in the family since his birth. Adjusting to life in Switzerland had been very difficult, but for some reason his arrival to the world alleviated a lot of those feelings in a way that even father's return could not.

Liesl was happy that her father had returned. His mere presence provided some semblance of stability after months of hardships, but Liesl was old enough and astute enough to realize that her father's return could not heal all wounds. The past year's events had robbed her of all her naive thoughts. She lost her trust in everyone and everything. Most of all she lost her faith in men, even her father.

Ironically, she became aware of his presence as he walked towards her. He walked neither slow nor fast but with a purpose. Liesl rose from her spot on the blanket; however her father beckoned her with his hands to sit once again.

She looked at her father and it was troubling how much he aged in the last year. His hair was grayer, and he was thinner. His face was haggard and he had some new frown lines that she did not remember seeing before. What worried her the most was how sad he looked. He did not sing with them or crack witty jokes. While he did smile often, his smiles did not reach his eyes and it seemed like he forced himself to appear happy. Liesl was able to see past the illusion her father was trying to create. Beneath his smile was a very unhappy man. What worried her most was the question of why was he not happy? If he could not be happy being home with mother and her siblings how can she ever hope to find happiness with anyone?

Georg felt Liesl's eyes on him as he sat down on the blanket. "Why do you stare at me that way?"

She shrugged her shoulder and turned to look at Maxim.

Georg watched his eldest daughter play with his youngest son. Against his wife's wishes Georg insisted that they hire a nanny to help them take care of the baby's needs. Maria had wanted to take care of the baby herself, however George felt that she needed to have some time to sleep and rest.

At the end they compromised. The family would hire a nanny to take care of the baby during the night while Maria would take care of the baby during the day. It turned out to be a very good decision. Georg was impressed with how well the children made it to their responsibility to help Maria with the baby, particularly Liesl, who helped with the young child immensely. However, as proud as he was of her, Georg was becoming increasingly nervous for Liesl.

Last night after the children went to sleep Maria brought it to his attention. She was concerned that Liesl showed no interest in any boys, and rarely socialized with other children besides her siblings. Georg joked that he preferred that no man ever talk to his daughter until she turned forty. Maria glared at him and explained that Liesl is lovely and many boys are interested in her; however she rejected each and everyone. What troubled Maria more was that Liesl did not speak of any boys or share with her any of her feelings, dreams, and fantasies anymore. She did not even want to read books with a romantic genre.

"I think you should talk with her," Maria said.

"Me?" Georg questioned. "What do I know about what is going on in the mind of a seventeen year old? You should talk to her, you're better at it than I am."

"I have already tried, numerous times. She is coming of age soon, a year ago she talked of nothing else and now she's avoiding the topic like the plague."

"So what has changed?" To his question, Maria gave him an exasperated look, but her eyes said more.

"What has changed?" She quietly said. "What didn't change?" she added with a hint of sarcasm.

"What do you want me to do?" Georg huffed. He felt his temper beginning to rise. Maria sensed it too, as she put a soothing hand on his, and spoke in a softer and gentler tone.

"Talk to her, she blames herself for what happened at the abbey. Not everyone is able to hold everything inside" She wisely said as she stroked his hand "she is still a child."

Georg watched Maria hand stroke his, the light in the struck her gold ring. He slowly nodded.

"I'll talk to her tomorrow."

* * *

Georg sat on the blanket next to Liesl and Maxim. He gently stroked Maxim's bare foot, where his sock fell off.

"Look how little his feet are," he chuckled.

"His socks always fall off," Liesl agreed.

Georg rose with Maxim in his arms and placed him in the pram. "Let's go for a walk," he said as he offered Liesl his arm.

They walked in silence. Georg had one arm interlocked with Liesl and with the other deftly maneuvered the pram.

"It is a beautiful day isn't it?" Georg said awkwardly trying to make conversation.

"Yes it is," Liesl politely answered.

"Do you like it here?"

"It's nice"

"But it is not like home?" Georg asked with a raised eyebrow.

"It's different," she agreed.

"How so?" Georg asked trying to pry more than monosyllabic answers from his daughter.

"It just is."

"Well put," he replied with a grin. She looked at him as he smiled. "It's quite different than home, but it is safe so we should be thankful."

"Do you think that Switzerland will join the war?"

"I don't know, they are staunchly neutral but that can change. But I wouldn't worry about it," he added.

They continued to walk in silence till Georg said: "It was hard for you adjusting to Switzerland." It was not a question it was a comment. Liesl shrugged her shoulders at Georg's remark. It was maddening that she would not admit to it, but then again of all his children Liesl was the most like him-which frightened him.

Georg did not want his daughter to live the way he did. He did not want her to shove away those around her who love her, because she is too scared to share her feelings or to admit them. That is what he did. It ruined his relationship with his children after Agathe died and it was slowly gnawing at the foundation of his current marriage. He did not want his daughter to go down the same path of self loathing.

"I'm very proud of the way you handled yourself. I am proud of the way you helped your mother get through the difficult time and the way you took care of your brothers and sisters. I know I don't say it often, but I am." Maxim had fallen asleep as they walked. Georg glanced at Liesl. She was looking straight ahead, not meeting his eye as her bottom lip quivered.

"Liesl?"

Georg said her name so softly, so lovingly. He told her he was proud of her, when Liesl felt so ashamed of her stupidity. Her eyes were burning and her father had hugged her as her tears began to fall. She did not feel like she deserved his affection. She had almost gotten him killed!

He held her as her tears soaked his jacket.

"Nothing that happened as we left Austria was your fault," Georg said as he raised her head from his chest. "Look at me," he commanded. "I mean it. It was not your fault"

Georg meant what he said and Liesl knew it by looking into his eyes but it did little to assuage your guilt. "He tried to kill you! He would have killed all of us!" she cried.

"But he didn't. We are all alive"

"But you wouldn't have gotten caught if it wasn't for me and that stupid boy. You can't say that it's not true!"

"Liesl, I was a wanted man, a fugitive, they would have found me even if we never saw that boy in the abbey. I knew what the dangers where and I took the risk. I and only I make the decisions in this family and I made the decision to not accept the commission, knowing very well what the consequences would be if I got caught."

"I should have known better."

"You liked the boy?"

" He obviously didn't like me back," she said bitterly.

The first love is always full of a pain," Georg admitted. "But it is never the last."

He interlocked his arm around her once more and pushed the pram towards the house. "One day you will meet a boy who loves you. And your heart will know that you want to marry that person before your head does. And I will hate that boy because he will take you away from me, but I will love him, because I know he will make you happy. And treat you as you deserve to be treated."

"How do you know for sure?" Liesl asked.

"It happened to me." He replied with a small smile, "twice."

They had reached the house and he saw Maria smiling at them. Perhaps there was still hope for him. Their anniversary was soon and hopefully he can convince Maria to leave the children for one night. Georg meant what he said to Liesl, he had found love twice.

They met Maria on the porch. Georg gently lifted the slumbering Maxim from his pram and carefully handed him to Maria. Liesl watched the two wordlessly communicate with each other. She saw Georg whisper something into her ear that made Maria giggle. They did seem happy after all.

Maybe she too could find love.

* * *

"Are you ready?" Georg said, as he impatiently tapped his foot. Maria gave Maxim once last kiss before handing him to Liesl.

"We'll call as soon as we arrive at the hotel," Georg called over his shoulder to Max, as he led Maria to the car.

He opened the door for Maria and waited her to sit. He closed the door and sat down next her giddy with excitement at the idea of spending a whole day and night with his wife alone. He clutched her hand tightly. "They will be fine," he assured her for the umpteenth time. "Max is staying with them and the nanny is staying with them for the whole day as well."

She nodded and turned to wave at the children once last time as Georg started the car to take them to town to celebrate their anniversary.

Georg and Maria arrived at the hotel by late afternoon. They planned to have an early dinner before going to the opera house. Maria loved the hotel room it reminded her Paris. She was filled with happy nervousness like she was on their wedding night. It was hard to believe that she had not spent time alone with Georg since their honeymoon.

They walked into a hotel suite. The front room was brilliantly lit, displaying a sitting area and a table to dine. The backroom contained a darkened bedroom to the left a bathroom, and on the right side of the room were tall windows that showed off the majestic mountains of Switzerland.

"Do you like it?" Georg asked with a soft smile as he gently placed his hand on the small of her back.

"I do," she replied as she shyly kissed him on the lips.

His arms quickly went around her as he kissed her back passionately. She responded to him and kissed him back hard. Her hands fumbled with the buttons of his shirt as his mouth went to her neck. Georg missed her terribly and he desperately wanted to repair their fractured relationship. But before he took her into the dark bedroom and let his passion loose he had to make sure she was physically ready and healed from childbirth.

"Are you ready Maria?" looking deeply into her eyes.

"Yes," she breathed.

He carried her to the bedroom.

* * *

A while later, relaxed and happy, the two sat down to eat in a restaurant near the hotel. After placing their order with the waiter, Georg proceeded to shamelessly flirt with her. His wicked humor caused Maria to giggle and smile all through the entree. It made Georg happy to see her carefree and vivacious. He found himself not needing to fake a smile, her happiness was infectious, and he found his own shell of darkness was starting to fall.

However as they began to eat the main course, Georg suddenly paled when he saw a man and woman walk into the restaurant.

Tobias Schmidt was an acquaintance of Georg's from Austria, and although he was nice man, he was also dimwitted, and his wife Anna who was even more dimwitted than her husband, was Vienna's biggest gossip. Not only did Georg suddenly fear for his family's safety in Switzerland, as there was no doubt that Anna would tell the world that he was alive, but he also feared what idiocy her mouth may spew if she saw him.

"Darling what is wrong?" Maria asked.

"I just saw someone I know." Before Georg could say more, he felt Tobias's strong hand clap him on the back.

"I do not believe it; I thought I saw a ghost! Georg von Trapp what are doing here?" he exclaimed loudly.

"Oh you must be his wife!" Anna squealed. "I did not know you were alive too! The most terrible rumors seemed to have slipped over the Alps"

"You must have been horrified when you heard what happened to Georg back in Austria" Tobias interjected. "I mean the way he was treated had the tongues wagging in every bar and salon in Vienna." Georg cringed at those words. He assumed the gossip would happen, but to hear it made him shrink inside.

"No one spoke of anything else for days," Anna added.

"Oh you cannot imagine how terrible it was." Tobias interrupted. "We made plans to leave the next day. I mean the way they publicly beat him."

"The way they tortured you!" Anna said turning to Georg, shaking her head. "I can't believe you are alive."

"No offence Georg, but you looked like heck."

"It was all everyone talked about for weeks," Anna repeated.

"If I went through what you went through I wouldn't hesitate to blow a bullet through my brain." Tobias said.

Maria's head went back and forth from Tobias to Anna like a ping-pong ball.

"I mean you looked starved poor thing, and to beat you like that in your own home, I mean the nerve!"

"You cannot imagine how shocked I am to see you," Tobias said while patting Georg on the back. "I mean not only are you alive, but you look fairly well. I know you are tough Georg you have always been, you look well considering everything that happened to you."

Maria looked at Georg as if seeing him for the first time. He seemed to shrink from her gaze. She was unnerved by how he looked. His face alternated from deathly pale to blood red in a way that was alarming. And in truth Georg looked like he wanted to crawl under the table and disappear.

"Well it is really nice to see you," Tobias said patting Georg once more on the back. "Well, we will leave you and let you finish your meal."

Georg simply gave him a tight lipped smiled and mumbled something incoherent as he watched the duo disappear to their seats. He felt Maria quietly watching him. He reached for his fork in an attempt to eat, but he could not even pretend to eat. His throat felt tight and the room felt hot and overwhelming. He suddenly became dizzy and felt terribly nauseous.

"Excuse me," Georg muttered as he quickly stood up and left the table- leaving Maria speechless.

Georg ran to bathroom knocking a waiter down on his way. Without stopping to look or apologize, he raced in and undid his tie and the buttons of his shirt. He felt a deep pain radiating in his chest and felt it difficult to get air.

"Sir, are you alright? Sir" Georg could not hear the question nor respond. He stood hunched over the sink holding his chest.

"I'll get you a doctor," The man's voice seemed to come from a distance. Although only a few minutes had passed, it felt like an eternity until the man returned with the maitre'd and another gentleman by his side. Georg suddenly lunged towards the toilets and emptied the contents of his stomach. As suddenly as the pain in his chest began it had subsided. Georg was left on his knees dry heaving as three men looked on with concern. He felt completely deflated and exhausted. Although his panic episode had lasted only a few minutes it felt like a heart attack-the pain was so real. He felt two pair of arms lift him to his feet and place him on a chair. He did not argue or protest as they forced him to drink. Under normal circumstances he would have, he would have insisted he was fine and not let anyone help him. But he was too tired to argue, too tired to talk, and too tired to think.

When Georg had suddenly left the table Maria began to worry, and as a few minutes passed she began to get nervous. When the maitre'd asked if there was a doctor present she became frantic. When she quickly walked to the restroom and overhead the word heart attack, she became hysterical.

She was relieved when she finally saw Georg emerge from the bathroom. As Maria ran towards him she was shocked to see how ill he looked. He was pale and sweaty. She took his hand and felt it shake slightly as she put her other around his back. His tie and shirt were undone and his hair was in disarray. They followed the maitre'd to his office with Georg leaning slightly on her. He seemed to have difficulty walking in a straight line, as if someone hit him over the head.

The maitre'd left them alone with an elderly doctor who checked Georg. He placed a stethoscope beneath Georg's undershirt and after a few minutes of listening he flashed a light into Georg's eyes and checked his pupils. Satisfied he put his items back into his bag.

"You seem to be fine now," the doctor said. "Your pulse is normal. Rest for a few days and do not do any strenuous activity. If you do not feel better in a few hours go to the hospital.

"Thank you," Georg mumbled quietly as Maria walked the doctor to the door. Georg did not seem to be there at all. He felt so disconnected from who he was and where he was.

"What happened?" Maria whispered to the doctor.

"It looked like a coronary at first glance, but it is definitely not, I'm not sure what is wrong with him. See how he is in a few hours. Maybe it's stress, or anxiety; that's what some professors are calling it these days."

" Anxiety?"

The doctor shrugged his shoulders. "Some people think so, but if you ask me, it is just something that doctors say to people when they don't know what is wrong with a patient. I am not a big believer in it, but some people swear by it."

"Thank you doctor," she murmured, confused.

Maria turned to towards Georg. He was hunched over in his chair with his head buried in hand. His jacket and tie were carelessly flung on the table beside him. She cautiously approached him and gently stroked his shoulder. He flinched slightly at her touch, but his body had stopped shaking. Maria stood next to him and rubbed his back as she bent down and buried her face in his hair. She knew better than to ask if he was alright. She knew that he was not and he would never admit it. She was frightened, frightened to see him like that. He was usually so strong, so powerful, and so full of energy and now his whole persona seemed to be deflated. As much as Georg denied what happened to him in Austria, it was more than an ordeal. As Tobias Schmidt said, it was horrendous.

So many thoughts were swirling through Maria's head. She was angry with Georg for trying to keep what had happen a secret from her and she even more upset that it was starting to affect his health. She was also deeply offended that he would not confide in her about his feelings and was a hurt that he was not being truthful to her. When they first married he shared everything with her and now she felt he was treating her like a child. In the past she was able to read him so easily and he let her, since he came home he had been so closed and guarded. She was told months ago by Max that he was tortured, and tonight she finally knew exactly how bad it was. What Maria did not know, however was how to help him.

All she knew was that before her sat a broken man.

* * *

After a few minutes, Maria suggested that they leave. "Let's go back to the hotel? You should rest," she said as she continued to rub his back in a soothing manner.

"No, I'm alright" Georg replied as he sat up. Maria was relieved to see that some color had returned to his cheeks. We have tickets to the opera and you really wanted to see it." He seemed to have finally found his voice.

"Georg, it is fine. We can go another time."

"No, I insist." He stood up and buttoned his collar. She watched him carefully as he tucked his shirt back in and redid his tie. His face was once again inscrutable. He flashed a quick smile as he smoothed his hair, but his eyes did not meet hers for very long.

The maitre'd called a cab. They rode in silence as Maria was too fearful to say a word to Georg. They took their seats and spoke little. He kissed her on the cheek and held her hand and pretended like nothing was wrong, as if the incident at the restaurant had not occurred. She played along for his sake, but inside her emotions were beginning to boil. As the lights dimmed and the curtain rose he turned to her once more. He had mistaken her mood as concern for him and not the anger and hurt she was feeling. "I'm alright, I really am. Just enjoy the show," he whispered. She flashed him a smile and like he, she pretended that nothing was wrong, even though Maria knew that nothing was right. "Two can play this game," she fumed.

She forced herself to try and enjoy the opera. The stage and costumes were vivid and the singing was beautiful. For a couple of hours she was able to forget her troubles. Georg sat beside her, resting his chin on his hand. He was exhausted and emotionally spent. He tried to concentrate on the show, but as the second act began his eyes started to close. He drifted in out of sleep all throughout the first half of the show. At intermission he bought them drinks, a low alcohol for Maria and hard Whisky for himself. At the end of the show, Maria's bad mood returned. She pretended like everything was fine in the theatre house and in the cab, but as they rode the elevator she could not contain herself anymore. She said straight out what was on her mind like she did in the past. Maria no longer cared if it angered Georg, because the gap that has been between them was growing wider and wider. It was his fault, but her fear of upsetting him only exasperated the situation.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Georg signed, "Do we really need to talk about this now?"

"Why did I have to hear it from strangers and not from you."

"I don't understand why you needed to know," Georg said as he put the key through the lock.

"Excuse me?"

"It would make no difference," he replied calmly as he opened the door and walked into the room.

"You lied to me!" Maria practically shouted as she followed him, slamming the door behind her.

"I did no such thing!" He snapped back, "You have no right to accuse me of such things."

"A lie of omission is still a lie," she hotly replied.

"Maria you are being ridiculous."

"I am being ridiculous by being concerned for you? After everything I've been though how can you say that?"

"I know what you have been though," he shouted. "I know what I put you through you don't have to remind me!"

"I finally have you back after thinking you were dead and you are not yourself." She contested.

She knew she struck a nerve. "I'm the same person," he shouted back defiantly.

"No you're not! I know it and the children know it. You are miserable, and you are lying to yourself."

"For the last time, stop calling me a liar!" He boomed. "I know very well who I am and it is not my fault that you feel that you don't know me anymore."

" I want to Georg," she said emotionally as tears began to fill her eyes. "I want to help you."

"This is the reason why I can't talk to you," he said shaking his head. "You cannot understand."

"I can't understand?" She said with a shaky voice. After everything Maria had been through that was the biggest insult he could have uttered. The fear she felt for herself and the children's safety and the fear she felt for him. The months that she was alone with no one to help her and without a partner to guide her. She understood very well, it was he who did not.

"I can't understand? I understand very well!" She screamed as she stormed out of the room and into the bathroom.

Georg tried to follow her but was met with the door slamming in his face. He heard the lock click and Maria's sobs coming from the other side of the door.

"Open the door," Georg said as he grabbed the handle. "Open the door." He said again, only louder as he became more and more enraged. He played with the door knob again and banged on the door.

"Open this door at once!" He shouted banging on it. He sighed and leaned his head against the door frame. "Maria please open it," Georg pleaded, this time softly. "I'm sorry, let's talk in a civil manner this time" There was still no response coming from Maria only the sound of her crying. The sound of her crying only frustrated Georg more.

"Do as you wish!" He yelled through the door. "I am going downstairs."

He needed a drink, badly.

Georg ran his hand through his slick hair as he uncharacteristically loosened his tie and left it in the room. He undid the top two buttons of his shirt as he took the elevator down to the hotel bar.

He ordered a drink and downed it immediately and ordered another. As he held his second drink in the palm of his hand he finally calmed enough to think. The alcohol did little to assuage Georg's guilt.

Their dinner was a disaster, he slept though the opera, and he was sitting in a smoky hotel bar as his wife of one year locked herself in the hotel bathroom-crying.

_Happy __anniversary _he miserably thought.

He hated himself so much.

To be continued...


	14. The Ostrich's Grief

**The Ostrich's Grief**

Georg quietly walked into the hotel suite. The bedroom door was open, and from it came a faint light. He kicked off his shoes and noiselessly walked across the plush-carpeted room. He stopped at the foot of the king-sized bed. Only the light from his bedside lamp illuminated the room. He cautiously approached her as she lay in bed. She was buried under the sheets wearing a white silk nightgown. Her blond hair shimmering in the light from his bedside lamp made her look like the angel that she was.

Georg gingerly sat at the edge of the bed next to her, and stroked her hair and her cheek. She was laying on her side not looking at him. Her face was scrubbed clean but her eyes were still red.

"Wait up for me?" he asked. Maria nodded, silent. "I'm going to change and then we'll talk." He bent down, gave her a kiss on the cheek, and rose. "I'll be right back."

Georg entered the bathroom and flicked on the lights. He was shocked to see how disheveled his reflection in the mirror looked. Georg reached for the faucet and splashed cold water over his face and smoothed his hair back. He stood for a long time in front of the mirror considering his reflection. He hated the man that stood before him. He used to look in the mirror and feel both pride and a great sense of self. He did not have that anymore. All the mirror showed him was an old man past his prime who had made many mistakes. Does he dare show that man to his wife? Does he dare show the woman who he loved more than life itself the broken, tortured man that lived behind the mask that he carefully created? Does he dare admit that all promises he made to himself and to her he did not keep? Does he dare reveal that the illusion he had lived for his entire life was a mirage. To save his marriage does he dare to be something he never was?

Once he changed into his pajamas, Georg climbed into bed and turned off the lights. He kept his distance from Maria as he crossed his arms under the covers. He felt himself shake and he needed to steady himself. Although the room was dark, Georg could feel her eyes on him. They had left the curtains open and the moonlight spilled onto the bed casting eerie shadows in the room.

His voice came suddenly though the dark, and he started speaking without prompt: "I regained consciousness in the car on the way back to Salzburg. I didn't know if you and the children were alive and I feared the worst. I'm never an optimist; I feared for your life and hated myself for my stupidity. They took me to a cell in Salzburg; it became instantly clear to me that Zeller was going to be brutal to me."

Georg could still feel her eyes on him, but he did not look at her. Instead he lay staring at the ceiling, hugging himself with his arms. The tone of his voice was monotone, devoid of all emotion.

"They took me to cellar and beat me, starved me, humiliated me. They deprived me of sleep-they deprived me of anything that made me feel human. Zeller would sometimes come and watch them make a spectacle of me; he, with his sadistic mind, enjoyed watching it. He enjoyed watching them...torture me." He said flatly.

Maria wanted to reach for him and hold him, but she was scared that if she touched him, if she even uttered a sound he would stop talking. As much as she wanted to comfort him, she knew Georg had to talk: he had to say what happened to him.

"The worst they did were the mind games they would play on me. Daily they toyed with my sanity, with vague insinuations about what happened to you and the children. They never told me 'yes' or 'no,' alive or dead. It was a question left unanswered and left hanging in the air. I realize now that it was part of the plan: to destroy me physically and mentally before actually killing me. Zeller made me hate myself, loath myself like I never hated myself before. And he had a point.

"I gave up everything that I really held dear for a country – for a past that no longer existed. I was always ready to give up my life for the empire. I believed I was building a future for my children and generations to come. I did not mind if my life was sacrificed for them, for I'd rather lose mine so that they could live a better life. But Zeller spoke the truth, and perhaps that was what was so difficult, because that mad-man saw what I didn't see: By opposing the Anschluss, by opposing the new Austria, I had sacrificed all I held dear for a country that was no more. Months ago he called me an ostrich, and he was proven right. I was the fool. I had buried my head in the sand and I feared that you all paid the price for my stupidity.

"I eventually lost track of time and space. I did not know what day it was or what time. I only knew night and day, but it seemed like it was always night. It was always cold, and it was always winter. It was frigid and dark when Zeller came to see me, to personally tell me that you and the children were dead. I believed him, and, in a way, whatever I was, whatever dignity I had left, died that night; and he would do his best to strip me of whatever I had left. At that moment I no longer existed, I was alive only because my body had yet refused to die, but I knew my end would come soon, very soon.

"A few hours later – maybe days I don't know – they took me to my villa. All I felt was cold. Cold because I was dressed only in a tattered shirt, and cold because I had nothing left to live for. They had the cruelty to take me to _my _house, my home, my castle. All I could think of was my family: you, the children...Agathe. All of the memories I had of that place and all I held dear there."

Georg's voice was now shaking; there was venom in his words. He still stared straight ahead at the ceiling, but Maria saw his profile change. His face was contorted with barely suppressed rage.

"There were people there at the villa, people I once called my friends. People I respected and who respected me. In front of the most affluent Austrians in my own home, they beat me…they flogged me in the most brutal way. They whipped me …like some petty criminal … then they left me there to die. Those were the scars you saw on my back the night before Maxim was born.

"I was so...I...I so wanted to die…" His voice cracked as he said these words.

"Somehow I regained my senses and found the strength to get to my study. The villa was pitch black but I knew my way in the dark. I went to my desk and retrieved a gun from the bottom drawer. It was my first, the first gun I ever got in the navy. I always kept the bullets hidden in a separate place in case the children ever got a hold of it, even though they knew they were forbidden to touch my drawers."

He took a deep breath trying to calm himself, and with difficulty he continued. "I fumbled in the dark as I tried to load the gun...had Max not shown up when he did…" His voice trailed. "I would have done it... I would have placed the barrel of the gun in my mouth... and just pull the trigger...one bullet straight to the brain... quick and painless... a coward's death."

Georg started laughing suddenly, in a manic way that chilled Maria to her bones. "I try to convince myself that I would never have killed my self, that I am not that type of coward, or at least that my ego is too inflated for that. I've come up with every excuse in the world. But no matter how hard I try I cannot deny that I would have done it: I would have killed myself."

He finally turned to Maria. His eyes were so clear with unshed tears that they looked white. "Now, my sweet wife, how can I ever expect you to bear to look at me…when I can barely look at myself?"

Georg suddenly flung his covers off himself and threw his legs over the side of the bed. He felt this frantic and desperate need to run. But Maria, even from her position on the bed, was quick enough to grab him from behind and keep him on the bed. She clutched his arms tightly and rested her head against his back. His breathing was erratic and he was trying in vain to control his emotions and his breathing, despite the large lump that was in his throat that was threatening to choke him.

Maria continued to hold onto him, as if for dear life: that if she would let go now she would somehow lose him forever. She suddenly became aware that his nightshirt was wet from her tears. His own breathing had started to gradually calm.

Maria reached around him and from behind started undoing the buttons of his night shirt. He brought his hand to try to stop her, but she gently and yet firmly placed them at his side. She continued unbutton his shirt and removed it. In the pale light of the moon, she saw the scars on his back: the marks of his suffering. She gently fingered the scars and felt his whole body tense under her touch.

Very slowly, she started kissing his back. Her lips grazed every scar, every portion of his back that was subjected to the brutal whipping he'd received. She could not erase his pain and his suffering, but she could show him that she understood, that she was not repulsed by him, and that she still loved him no matter how shattered and broken he may feel.

A small sob escaped Georg's throat. Feeling Maria's lips on his back was the final straw. He could no longer suppress the pain he'd held in for so many months – he could no longer suppress his tears, and they came down fast and furious. His whole body was now shaking, but Maria continued to kiss each and every scar till Georg collapsed in her arms. He buried his head in her chest and continued to cry. Never would either of them have imagined that Georg would break down like this, but as Maria caressed him in her lap, it was clear that he needed to cry and that he needed to finally let out all the pain he felt.

"I thought you were dead!" He sobbed. "I was such a fool, such a stupid, stupid fool!"

He continued to lay in Maria's arms as she caressed his dark head. Eventually his breathing became steady and the tears subsided. But he did not raise his head or leave Maria's arms. He felt safe in her embrace and it was a feeling that he had not felt in a long time.

They continued to lay together for a long time in the darkness; neither was willing to break the spell by talking, and neither was willing to let go of the other.

Maria felt Georg's breathing become even, and she looked down at him. His eyes were closed and it seemed that he had fallen asleep – exhausted and emotionally spent.

But as tired as Maria was, she could not sleep. Instead, she settled down next Georg and watched him while thinking about all he'd told her. She appreciated all he told her and she understood why he'd tried to hide is humiliation from her. Did he really think she would view him as a coward for what he suffered? Maria knew that Georg was prideful, but she couldn't believe that he could feel so insecure and to foolishly think that her love for him would be somehow unhinged. She loved him as much or even more than when she first met him. She would tell him, but how?

Maria hoped that tonight would be the first step to healing. That hopefully Georg could come to accept the past. In a way, a part of Georg _had_ died and tonight was the first night that he ever grieved for that loss. Somehow Maria would have to find a way to help him as he healed. Somehow she would have to find a way to help him leave the past buried behind them and look towards the future.

_But will I succeed?_


	15. A Conversation in Bed

A Conversation in Bed

The sun slowly rose and filled the hotel suite with the first rays of light. Georg was gradually awakened from his slumber. His conciseness first noticed the birds happily chirping, then a sweet jingle of a bicycle bell, and then the soft breathing of his wife. Their limbs were tangled together in bed among the sheets. She lay in his arm resting her head on his chest. She wore the same beautiful nightgown she wore last night. Even in the soft rays of dawn he could how the silky fabric hugged her slender silhouette. His own chest was bare and he felt a need to find his own nightshirt and cover his scars. But because of the feeling he had in having her in his arms-he did not dare move. He quietly watched her and felt his face flush a deep blush. Last night was the first time he allowed himself to vulnerable with Maria. He completely broke down in a way that he never had before. What shocked him was her reaction to him. She wasn't repulsed or scared by him like he thought she would be.

He had worked so hard to put the last year out of his mind. He'd succeeded in repressing his memories to a point that his suffering only came out in his nightmares – which were vivid. He'd felt so many negative emotions in him that he scarcely could believe that Maria had even looked at him.

Yet she did, and she was there for him last night, and here now in his arms.

He continued laying on his back while his head rested on two pillows. A car honked outside and he felt Maria snuggle deeper into him. He continued thinking about their life together and their future as she slept. Eventually he began to gently stroke her bare arm in circular motions. He watched her eyes open ever so slowly. They were drowsy with sleep as she muttered, "Good morning."

He kissed her head in response. They lay silently together as he stroked her arm. Her head remained on his bare chest as she draped her hand over it.

"Maria?"

"Yes Georg?" she asked sleepily.

"I want to leave Europe," he said suddenly.

"What?"

"I don't feel safe here," he said, looking at her straight in the eye.

All remnants of sleep left her eyes as she carefully considered his face. He was serious. She didn't ask him if he was sure, because the look in his eyes told her he _was _sure. She said nothing but held him tighter.

He felt her grip on him tighten as he kissed her hair. She hadn't responded and her silence was causing him to worry.

"Maria," Georg said gently. "Tell me what you think about leaving."

"Are we really not safe in Europe, even in Switzerland?"

"I don't think we are safe anywhere in Europe," he grimly replied. "Word will get out that I am alive and I fear for the children's safety and your safety." Still lying on his back he turned his eyes away from her and towards the French windows. "Honestly, I fear for myself as well."

She pushed herself off of his chest and took his face in her hands forcing him to look at her. "I'm so tired of running and so tired of hiding," he admitted. He removed her hands from his cheeks and kissed them as he closed his eyes. "I'm so sorry. This wasn't the life I promised you."

"Georg, don't say that. Look at me!" she implored. He did. "You have given me everything I could have hoped for and more" she said, looking deeply into his eyes.

Once again he turned his eyes away from her.

"Georg."

"Yes?"

"Are you all right?"

"No," he admitted shaking his head.

"You will be," she reassured him. "We will all be."

They continued to lie in each other's arms as the sun rose higher in the sky.

"Georg."

"Yes, darling?"

"Thank you for last night," she said as she kissed his cheek. "I know that it was hard for you."

"I now understand why it was important for you to know all that happened, but it was important for me that you did not know," he explained. "Sometimes I look at us together and I feel so worthless and so underserving of your love."

"You are not being fair to yourself, Georg. I love you," she declared. "All of you."

That morning she showed him how much she loved him. Though Georg still had a long road to healing, he felt reassured that no matter the challenges he may face as a person, and no matter what challenges they may face as a family, Maria still had trust in him. Her love was all he had left, and that was enough.


	16. Catharsis

Catharsis

He held the gun in his right hand and stroked the cool metal with his left. The gun was heavy as was his heart as he thought of what he needs to do. This particular gun had meaning to him. It was a copy of the first gun he ever shot at sixteen, and the original was currently at the bottom of the lake near his villa. The gun was Austrian-made, the barrel was black, and the handle was made of mahogany. He remembered it being heavy and difficult to aim, but he felt comfortable with it as he was trained to shoot it.

"Sir...Sir?"

Georg woke from his reverie.

"Can I help you, sir? Did you want to purchase that one?"

"No, thank you," Georg said as he reluctantly handed the gun to the middle-aged salesman. "I'm looking for something else, something lighter."

"Are you a policeman?" the salesman asked him, eyeing Georg suspiciously.

"No."

"Do have a license to carry firearms?"

"Not in Switzerland."

"I see," the salesman replied.

"I was officer in the Austro-Hungarian Empire," Georg explained.

"I may have something more modern for you if you follow me," the salesman said, leading him away from the display case and into the back room.

He showed Georg an array of guns. Georg chose two small Swiss made pistols, a magazine with extra bullets, and two holsters. The salesman asked him no more questions and did not ask him to identify himself. Discretion was the key.

"These gun do not have licenses, you do understand the risk, sir?" He said as he handed Georg the parcel.

"I do," Georg replied. The risk of carrying a gun without a license was time in prison. But if he needed to use a gun, than the risk of being caught carrying one far outweighed the risk of not having one at all.

Georg paid the man in cash for the weapons and left the store. He stepped outside into the bright sun. He squinted slightly as he made his way in the August heat away from the gun store. He walked in a calm and measured pace as to not draw attention to himself. When he reached the more respectable part of town, Georg allowed himself to let out a breath. He walked a short while to his car and started the engine after laying his package down on the floor by the passenger seat. As the engine roared to life he could not help thinking about the black gun with the mahogany handle. Though the weather was hot, he shivered as he thought how close he came to killing himself that night in the villa.

He thought more of that terrible night over the last week than he did over the last few months. After months of suppressing his memories, he'd spent the last week not only thinking of them but talking them over with Maria…

_The day after their anniversary, Maria and Georg came home. By the late afternoon the sun was covered by ominous rain clouds. The sky darkened and the rain fell hard and furious. Georg felt restless, and by the time the children were asleep, his agitation had grown exponentially. Instead of heading to bed or to read in the sitting room with Maria, Georg kissed his wife and told her not to wait up for him. She bit her lip and he saw the concern mounting in her eyes, but she let him go only after he promised he would return. "I'm worried about you," she whispered._

_Georg kissed her once more, her lips lingering on his longer than necessary. As soon as he left her embrace, he fled the house, not even bothering to wear a coat. In a mere moment the rain drenched his suit as he sprinted across the backyard and into the woods that were situated at the edge of his property. Deeper and deeper into the woods he ran. The leaves swiped at him as he ran. He tripped and stumbled on the wet ground. His clothing got caught in the branches and tore. Small lacerations appeared on his face as the branches and bushes scratched his face and hands, but he didn't care or notice as he continued to run. _

_He ran until he could run no more. Finally, he reached a clearing and collapsed on the wet grass where the rain fell harder and stronger. He cried until he had no more tears in him to shed. He cursed until he had no more words to say. He screamed until he had no more voice to yell. He lay in heap as the rain came down; the heavens seemed to cry with him – for him._

_The rain fell from above, plastering his hair to his forehead, his clothing to his body. The water cleansed his spirit as he asked for forgiveness and begged for strength and redemption. Time did not exist as he lay on the wet ground. When he had no more to ask for, he rose and headed home. Back through the woods he stumbled, through the bushes and trees he tripped. The way home took longer as he walked instead of ran. By the time he was able to see the light coming from the house the downpour had subsided and only a soft drizzle fell from the sky. It seemed the rain had calmed as his emotions had. _

_He walked closer and closer to the house and saw Maria standing at the master bedroom windows looking for him – waiting for him. Maria saw his disheveled form too, slowly approaching the house. She ran down the steps and met him at the back door. _

_Georg grabbed her the moment he was close enough to reach her and kissed her desperately. She responded with equal hunger as they stumbled through the hall and slipped into his study. He drenched her robe as he held her close; his muddy hands slipped up and down her body while his lips left her mouth and tasted her skin. She held on to him to dear life as his stubble-covered jaw traced kisses along her neck and face. His body was cold like ice, but a fire radiated from it. His passion was so raw it was unlike anything she'd ever experienced. _

_She peeled off his damp suit jacket and began to fumble with his wet buttons. His white shirt was transparent from moisture just like his soul was now transparent through his body. For the first time he was uninhibited, his hurt was unrestrained. She loved this man so much that she felt his pain as though it were her own. She acutely felt each of his emotions and the raging storm that raged in his heart. Their limbs locked together, they stumbled to and collapsed onto the rug near the hearth as the dying embers flickered, casting shadows as they made love._

_That moment in the woods was the moment of catharsis for Georg von Trapp. It was the moment when he was finally able to release his emotional tension in a way that restored his spirit. That night by the hearth, Maria came to know a different man than the one who had blown a whistle at her. As she lay in his arms, she looked at his face and saw a trail of dried tears which marked his muddy face. They lay by the hearth, warming their bodies and their souls. His eyes were red and his hair was damp. His voice was raspy and hoarse as they began to plan their escape from Europe. He held nothing back from his wife. _

A week later, Georg was driving back from town with two pistols lying on the floor of his car.


	17. Lessons

Chapter 17

There was a noted change in Georg that was observable to all. There was a certain confidence and determination that he moved with. He had a purpose and a mission and although the children did not know what Georg's mission was, they knew that he was very busy. As it was the end of the summer holiday, the children observed that their father was not home during the day-going to town after breakfast and not returning till supper time. In addition, Georg spent most nights in his study talking to Uncle Max. Furthermore the knowing glances that their father and mother exchanged further convinced the children that something was up.

As the summer vacation neared the end, the children spent most of their days outside reading, playing ball, or cards. After breakfast, Maria announced that she was taking the family to a picnic. The children were very excited and happily prepared the items they would need for the picnic, except Friedrich who was summoned to his father's study.

He knocked and entered the room and saw his father standing near the windows looking far away. He timidly walked forward till he was a few steps away from Georg.

"Your siblings are going on the picnic, but you are to stay with me. When they ask why you did not come with them, you will tell them that I am tutoring you."

Georg turned to finally look at Friedrich and beckoned him to sit. "There are things that I need to teach you how to do, things that every man needs to teach his son and things that I had honestly hoped that I would never have to teach you."

Georg motioned for his son to follow him to his desk. He opened the drawer and retrieved one of the pistols that he had brought. He held Friedrich's hand and placed the gun in the palm of his hand and watched his son's reaction carefully. Friedrich's hand shook in Georg's but there was a humble determination in his eyes. "I fought a war in the hope that you would never have to touch one of these things. Unfortunately, that's not the case."

Georg squeezed his son's hand tightly before taking the gun from him. Georg removed his jacket and put on two holsters and placed both pistols inside. He wore his jacket over it and walked out of his study concealing the weapons. Friedrich carried a picnic basket that his father had place near his desk and the two made their way through the back door-Maria and the children had already left.

With Friedrich by his side Georg traced the path through the woods till they reached the clearing Georg had broken down in. From the picnic basket Georg produced a hammer, ten red cloths and ten nails. He hammered the red cloths to various trees.

"I'm going to teach you how to load a gun, unload a gun, aim and shoot." Georg informed Friedrich as he took off his jacket and undid his tie. He rolled up his sleeves and instructed Friedrich to do the same.

"The first thing you need to learn is how to disarm. A chop block to the wrist will cause the shooter to lose his grip." He demonstrated to Freidrich how to disarm a man and spent the first hour practicing the technique with Friedrich.

The second hour he spent teaching Friedrich how a gun works and how to load and unload a gun. And demonstrated to Friedrich how to hold a gun and shoot.

The third hour was spent on practicing to shoot. He instructed Friedrich on how to stand, how to position his body and how to hold his hand. When Georg was satisfied he instructed Friedrich to load the gun and let his son take his first shot at the nearest tree marked by a red cloth.

Georg stood behind Friedrich and placed his hands on his shoulders. "There is a kick back when shooting a gun," he explained. "I'm going to stand behind you and brace you so won't fall. Eventually you'll be strong enough so that you won't need me to."

Friedrich looked at his target with determination, he so wanted to impress his father. The first shot he took missed his target completely, so did his second and third. He began to feel disappointed and frustrated. His father kept his hands on his shoulders and continued talking to Friedrich- motivating and helping him keep focused. "Ready yourself, aim, fire." He praised him when he managed to hit the tree and complimented his shooting even when he missed-which happened often. When the first clip ended, Georg clapped his hands and said, "That's enough for now."

Georg took the gun and put it in the holster. He motioned Friedrich to follow and they plopped down under the shade of a tree. Friedrich wiped his brow and was surprised how sweaty and famished he was from his first lesson.

"It is hard work, no?" Georg chuckled, handing his son lunch from the picnic basket. Friedrich agreed as he hungrily ate his sandwich and drank his water.

There was an uncomfortable silence that settled between them. It occurred to Georg that over the last few years he hadn't developed an individual relationship with any of his children. They were more treated as a unit in his mind and not as individuals. With regret he realized that he didn't know them as well as he thought he should. Georg observed Friedrich quietly eating and so wanted to know what was on his mind. He couldn't help but feel doubts of his own shortcomings as a parent creep through his mind. To make the uncomfortable silence pass Georg began speaking about his experience as a cadet. Friedrich politely answered and seemed genuinely interested in his father's stories. He relished in the attention and felt so grown-up and special to be able to partake in adult activities.

When they had finished eating they practiced disarming and shooting once more until Georg felt that it was enough for their first lesson.

They walked in silence on the way back. When they reached the house, Friedrich took the leftover food to the kitchen while Georg locked the guns in his drawer.

Georg left study and saw Friedrich awkwardly standing in the hall. Maria and the others were still not home and Friedrich did not know where he was supposed to be and what he was supposed to do. Georg asked him to enter his office and once more he placed his hands on Friedrich shoulders.

"You've grown so much and matured so much." Georg could see the thrill in his sons' eyes and the pride in them. He patted his head and took a good look at his son and then looked at him once more squinting his eyes.

With a small smile Georg said, "It turns out that there is one more thing I need to teach you today."

Five minutes later Georg and Friedrich were in the master bedroom lathering their faces with shaving cream. Georg smiled inwardly as he saw Friedrich beaming in the mirror. Even with Friedrich's face covered completely in shaving cream he could see how happy his son was.

"They hurt you didn't they?"

Father and son were laying on their backs staring at the constellations. It was a warm and clear night as Georg and Freidrich lay on the grass. Friedrich's pencil, flashlight and notebook were at his side as the two relaxed on the cool grass. Georg had spent the last two weeks vigorously tutoring Friedrich. During the day they practiced shooting, disarming, and basic hand to hand combat. On the clear nights, Georg taught him astronomy, celestial navigation, and the mathematics related to navigation. While Friedrich was never a studious child, he was gifted with his father mathematical talent. The two had grown close over the last two weeks, so close the Friedrich had felt brave enough to ask Georg the question that was plaguing his minds for months now.

"They hurt you, didn't they?"

"Yes." If Georg was surprised by the question he didn't show it. But he was curious to know how Friedrich could possibly know that he was tutored in the time he was held in Austria. "How do you know, if I may ask?"

"I overheard some people talking about it in the bakery. There were a few who came from Austria like we did. They didn't know who I was so they spoke about it. Liesl knows too, but we didn't tell mother because we didn't want to worry her while she was having a baby."

Internally, Georg was shocked. He turned to face Friedrich who still staring at the stars. Georg didn't know what to say and for a few minutes he said nothing. His son knew the extent of his suffering. Even more shocking was that it did not bother Georg like he expected it too. Perhaps his own growth had made him better able to accept things.

"Friedrich," he slowly began. "You need to understand that in this world there is good and there is evil. The people who took me prisoner were evil. What is happening in the streets of Austria and in parts of Europe is evil. You will fight for goodness and you will fight for truth and that is all you can do, all anyone can do. I thought that when I fought I would rid the world of all evil. It turns out you can only rid of evil that exists in your own soul because evil will always exist, we just need to quarantine it and not let it spread to a point where evil becomes the norm."

Friedrich quietly digested his father's words before he asked. "Will America join the war?"

"I don't know, but I suspect they will."

"Will I need to fight?" Friedrich asked. The fear and innocence of his age shone through the mask of maturity that he generally wore.

"I don't know, but if you will, you will, and you will be prepared. I hope and pray that you won't, but we need to keep evil at bay so that when your brothers are sixteen they won't have to fight like I did and like you may have too. "

"Will you need to fight also father?"

"Fight for the allies?"

"Yes, will they draft you too?"

"I don't know but if they do, then I will serve, and if you do too, then we will be together bravely fighting for our future."

Father and son continued to lie on their backs watching the stars knowing, that their live were bound to the tumultuous changes that were taking place in the world; while hoping and praying that there family comes out of it whole.


	18. Confessions

Chapter 18

Georg reached in his sleep for Maria, but he could not find her. He fumbled for the bedside lamp, and as his eyes adjusted to the light, he discovered that her side of the bed was empty. Finding that odd, Georg rose and put on his robe on top of his pajamas. After locating his slippers he left the room. The first place he looked was Maxim's room, but the infant was sleeping soundly. Next, Georg searched the children's rooms-perhaps one of them woke Maria because of a nightmare and she was putting them back to sleep. However, after checking their rooms he found all his children sleeping soundly and no trace of Maria. Georg wrapped his robe tighter around himself and descended the steps where he finally located her in the kitchen.

He quietly walked into the kitchen so to not alarm Maria, who was standing near the stove waiting for the kettle to boil. Unobserved, Georg carefully watched his young wife. She seemed lost in her thoughts as she stared off into space. Her whole body was tense and she seemed anxious. Georg noticed how thin she had become despite giving birth only three months ago. Her body was rigid as she stood. The kettle had boiled and Maria had not seemed to notice. It was at that point that Georg made his presence known by removing the kettle from the fire.

"Oh Georg!" Maria gasps, obviously startled. "I didn't notice you," she stammered. "Why aren't you sleeping?"

"I woke up and didn't see my beautiful wife, so naturally I went to find her," he said with a small smile, placing a gentle kiss on her soft blond hair. Georg cupped her chin in his hand and concern mounted in his eyes as he observed the dark circles under her eyes and her drawn face. "You seemed lost in your thoughts," he commented. "What is troubling you, my dear?"

"Nothing," she quietly responded, but her eyes did not completely meet his.

He responded to her denial with a raised eyebrow, and with his hand he guided her eyes to look at his, so she could without a doubt see that he did not believe her for an instant.

She looked away from her husband, and began focusing intently on the pattern of his nightshirt that peeked from under his robe. "Maria," he prodded again, "please tell me what's bothering you. Let me help you." He whispered in her ear as he began to trace soft kisses along her neck and jaw.

She let a shaky sigh but said nothing. He continued kissing her, and although his voice was barely above a whisper, he was barely able to contain the urgency that he felt inside. "Tell me, Maria," he practically begged. "Don't shut me out." Upon hearing those words she let out another tense sigh and clutched the collar of his robe. His kisses and soft words started to melt away the stubborn façade that she wore. She felt a small tear escape her eyes as it traced its way down her cheek to her jaw, where the salty drop met Georg's lips. As he continued to kiss her, the tears felt faster and furiously till she finally buried her face in his chest while desperately clutching onto his robe.

It broke his heart to see her this way, but deep inside he rejoiced as he was finally able to penetrate that mask that she always wore. It seemed that this angel he married and loved with all his heart was just as stubborn and headstrong as he was. He vowed to himself, then and there in that sparsely lit kitchen, to never neglect her emotionally ever again, even as she pretends that all is fine. She had been through so much this past year and Georg knew that he could never repay her for all her suffering that she went through, so much of it due to his foolishness and obstinate personality. Georg knew that he could never repay her what she has given him, but he could talk to her and show her how much he appreciated her, and how his own survival and that of his family was and is only due to her strength.

He held her as she continued to cry into his chest. Feelings and fears that she could not express in words she let out, nor could he at the moment express to her his love, devotion, and adoration for her. Words were not necessary. At that moment, he could hold her and support her the way she had supported him the last few months and the way she supported their children during in his absence and since his return.

When Georg felt Maria's tears subside, he led her to sit down at the kitchen table. The room was dark save for the light above the stove. He left her at the table and went to prepare her tea. Carefully he carried two mugs of steaming tea and gently placed one before her and one in his own seat perpendicular to hers. Before he sat down, he stood behind Maria and placed his strong hands on her shoulders. Wordlessly he began to massage her tense shoulders. She closed her eyes and leaned against his strong hands as her anxiety slowly began to melt away. His hands and nimble fingers soothed her muscles that she did not know even ached.

Georg continued to lovingly massage his wife's back till he was sure that she was completely calm. Only when he saw the creases in her face smooth and heard her breathing even out did he stop. Georg knelt before her and cupped her chin and placed a long lingering kiss on her lips before sitting down.

Georg took her hand in his and with his thumb he gently stroked her hand.

"So," he began, he looked at her intently.

"Yes?" he said quietly.

"Whenever you are ready to talk, I am, I always am. I wasn't always," He admitted. "But I'm trying, trying be to worthy of you."

A fresh a batch of tears fell from her eyes at his words.

"Sh sh…" he whispered clutching her hand even tighter. "It's alright, everything will be alright."

Maria wiped her eyes with her sleeve as she took a few deep breaths. "I don't know where to start."

"Start at the very beginning, it is a very good place to start."

Maria gave a shaky laugh before she looked concernedly at him, almost frightened. "I don't want to upset you."

"You won't, I promise you, you won't," he replied. "You need this, I need this."

Maria looked into her husband's eyes and all she saw was love. She didn't see the turmoil or the storm brewing in them as she had seen in the past. Just love. So with a trembling voice she began.

"That night at the mountain, when we were found, I was so scared. I was never so scared. I hoped you would be all right, that you would be safe, but I just knew that you wouldn't be. I hated that feeling, I hated that deep down I had no faith. I started feeling unwell. At first I thought it was because of what happened, but when I found out it was because I was expecting a child, I felt such a rush of bittersweet emotion. I carried a child that came from our love that would never meet his father. I felt so bad for the children. To lose two parents..." Her voice faltered. "I tried to make it as normal for them as I could, but I knew I couldn't.

"When Max told me you were alive, I dared to hope that we would be reunited, I dared to hope that all would be well-that we would be a family again. And when you came back, I had hoped… You came back…but you didn't." Her voice broke and a fresh wave of tears came. "A part of you was lost on that mountain," she cried, "and so was a part of me."

Georg clutched her hands tighter and with closed eyes he held them to his lips, remembering all of the memories that she could not speak aloud, all of the pain he had caused her. How he had nearly lost her because of his own stubborn pride…After a few moments he swallowed hard, and although his eyes were filled with anguish he opened them, and waited for her to continue.

"We've been through so much, the children have been through so much," she continued with a heavy voice. "America feels too far and foreign, so different from what I've known my whole life… I'm a simple mountain-bred girl… To travel halfway around the world…you've been all over the world and me…nowhere.

"I don't know if am ready, or if I'll ever be," she admitted.

She stopped talking and waited. She waited for him to say something, anything. Her hand was still in his, but he was so quiet she was beginning to become nervous.

"Maria," he started with a hoarse yet firm voice. "Listen to me and listen to me closely. Since the moment you walked into my home with that horrible looking dress of yours, you have been nothing short of a blessing. I don't know what good I may have done in my life to deserve you, but through all this family has been through this past year, the one constant has been your strength. No one can deny it and we…I… am so thankful for it." She looked down as he spoke; he took his hand and pushed behind her ear a stray strand of hair.

"Look at me darling," Georg said gently. "What do you see?"

"The man I love," she replied without hesitation.

"If I may add, sitting before you is a foolish and stubborn man, who is the luckiest man in the world only because he has you in his life. I Iove you, Maria, and I will risk anything for you and do anything for you. Since that day by the lake I have been trying to be a better person. There are days that I falter and days that I fail. God knows I failed more than I succeeded, but I am still working on myself and will vow to do so till the day I die."

Maria eyes refilled with tears as he continued to speak. "I don't want to put you through this again, I don't want to uproot the children, but trust me when I say that we have no choice. If we don't leave soon, and something happens to you or the children, I will never forgive myself. For months I thought you were dead. I spent months in prison living with the guilt that my foolishness had spilled your blood. And that guilt slowly ate me alive. Guilt like that is like slow poison that spreads through one's veins till it kills them. I cannot go through that again and I can never let you suffer again. You are right; I died that night on that mountain. I lost my identity and everything that I thought I knew. And, worst of all, it was you that had to suffer the consequences of my foolishness. I pray to God that you never suffer again, and I will do everything I can to make sure that doesn't happen again."

With Maria hands still clutched in his, Georg rose, raising Maria with him. She leaned against him and he held her as she tried to digest all he said. Their tea long cold and forgotten, the two swayed as one in the dimly-lit kitchen. Some more words were whispered between them and, like an ordinary couple, they spoke and communicated not at each other but with each other. Then the husband took his wife upstairs to their room, and he told her without words all of the things that words just couldn't convey: his regret, his gratitude, his promises, his everlasting love.

Later that night the two lay tangled together in their dark bedroom. Side by side they heard their breaths in sync. Although the future was uncertain and their safety was precarious, sleep and peace were finally able to come to both of them.


End file.
